Survivor
I Will Not Give Up

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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My immunity for a donut!

Jeff makes conversation by asking Tom whether he's tempted to look at Steph as a free boot. Get rid of her, and he can keep the tribe exactly as it was before. "Sure, you could look at it that way," Tom says. "I guess we'll see tonight." And then Coby can't resist the urge to make himself seem smart, so he says, "Let's not all be stupid. All these people are playing a game. There's already alliances built. They want Stephenie as a vote. They know they can't control certain people" -- here, Coby makes a face that's like, "I'M THE X-FACTOR, BABY!" -- "we're going to take each other off of the game." So Coby basically just turned into the Shii Ann of this episode, sort of congratulating himself for calling out the fact that everyone's got a plan, when...everyone knows they've got a plan, because of the...the plan-having. Know what I mean? No one actually thinks that there isn't any strategy going on, so to whom is Coby imparting any information? Nobody, that's who.

Later, Janu is squirming. Gregg is leaning over with a sore back. They've been up an hour. Jeff suddenly produces a tray of donuts. Coby asks whether he can have all of them if he jumps in, and Gregg wants to know if they come with a glass of milk. "No way I'm turning down a donut," Coby says. I actually think it's pretty funny when Katie says, with a hand over her mouth, "This is really hard. I'm going to, like, wet myself. I don't know what to do." What I like about it is that she's really commenting on how shocked she is at her own level of emotion over the damn donuts. Jeff says he can guarantee two donuts each, and Coby immediately jumps in. Janu says she's coming too, because her back is killing her. When they're situated on the dock, Gregg teases, "Cobe...save me a bite?" And Coby has to make an exaggerated, "Oh, ha ha ha, sure" face, just as if Gregg asked seriously, which he didn't. Way to...not get the joke, kid. Coby's room-reading skills are not going to win him any awards, that's for sure. Coby proceeds to make a great show of gloating over his donuts, so he's apparently lost all interest in remaining on the show. Because honestly, between jumping and then being the biggest asshole he possibly can? He seems not to care. If he thinks he's in danger of being voted off, why jump off for a damn donut? If he thinks he's not in danger of being voted off, why work to put himself in danger by working so hard to alienate everyone? Whatever. At any rate, he shows off and gloats, apparently also not having read the part of the playbook that makes clear that the rewards to come are almost sure to be better than whatever was given away first. Based on past experience, everyone who quits is now going to eat something far better in front of him than he just ate in front of them, so this is all going to be rendered a little less effective, torture-wise. When Jeff asks the group what it means when two people give up immunity for donuts, Katie quite correctly sums it up: "Either they want to go home, or they don't think they're in danger of going home."

At an hour and a half, Tom wipes off a little sweat. "What are you gonna jump for, Jen?" Coby asks. "Chocolate sundae!" Jen calls out. "Ohh, peanut butter," Caryn says. Picking up the cue, Ian slowly says, "I would take my clothes off for some chocolate and peanut butter right now." Jeff: "Nobody wants to see that, Ian." You know what? I bet he doesn't look any scarier than Heidi. In fact, I bet he looks largely the same, except for the implants. "You got any baluts?" Tom (I think) calls out. "I'd jump for a couple of baluts," Ian agrees. Jeff has no embryonic duckling. Too bad for Tom and Ian.

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Survivor

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