Survivor
I'd Never Do It To You

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Don't Count Your Eggs Before They're Not Laid

Peachy stops gloating and starts talking about the challenge. He says that the tribes will answer a series of questions about Africa while sitting on bleachers. Yes, bleachers. Now I know this is filmed on the set of Bug Juice; Kelly must feel right at home here. With each correct answer, the tribes will move down one row on the bleachers. Whichever tribe reaches the finish line first wins the prize. Peachy then busts out a tray with a single can of Mountain Don't and a cup; the competitors look amazed and shocked. Tom makes pig noises and can barely contain himself when Peachy says, "It's cold, too." Because warm Mountain Don't would be some kind of prize. Peachy lets each competitor have a taste, and they all act as if the gag reflexes don't kick in just thinking about it. Peachy then ruins the whole advertisement deal with Pepsi-Cola by saying the Mountain Don't is only "just a little bit of a tease" because the real reward is a "nice little buffet" of pasta, sandwiches, and cookies. Peachy realizes that his foot is in his mouth and adds, "Not to mention all the Mountain [Don't] you can drink." This takes me to a very bad place.

Tom sits out on Sambutwo because they have an extra person. The first question asks whether the closest ocean to Kenya is the Atlantic Ocean. Both Sambutwo and Boranew say it is not, and they're both right -- actually, it's the Indian Ocean. Next, Peachy asks if, to save the elephant population in Kenya, military rangers are instructed to shoot to kill poachers. Both tribes think that one is true, and they're both right. The next question states that, on safari, there is a group of animals known as "the big five," which includes the elephant, the rhino, the buffalo, and the lion. Peachy wants to know which other animal is considered one of the "big five": the leopard, tiger, giraffe, or hippo? Kimj insists to her tribe that she knows the answer, so of course we know they'll get the question wrong. Boranew guesses hippo, and Sambutwo guesses leopard. Sambutwo is correct, and Kim apologizes to her tribe. The next question asks, "Diurnal is a term to describe what?" There's lots of different choices to pick from here, but both tribes agree that the answer is animals that are "more prevalent by day," and they're both right. Ethan has some difficulties scooting down the bleachers. Sambutwo, meanwhile, is told to stand, because they've reached their final bleacher step. The clue asks whether Kenya's Lake Victoria is the world's largest saltwater lake. Both tribes think the answer is false, and they're both right. Peachy then gleefully points out that it's a trick question, because not only is Lake Victoria not the largest, but it's not saltwater, either. He sure got them. Except he didn't. Boranew watches Sambutwo attack the sandwiches while Clarence looks particularly sad. Kelly shoves an entire sandwich in her mouth, and Brandon and Lindsey agree that they like the shortbread cookies best. As they toast each other with Mountain Don't, Lex says, "We're breakin' bread proper." Boranew finally wises up and decides to stop torturing themselves by watching the other team pig out. As they leave the challenge site, Teresa says, "Bon appétit," and Kimj wishes them a good weekend. They have weekends out there? I barely have weekends here at home.

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Survivor

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