If It Smells Like A Rat, Give It Cheese

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | 2 USERS: A+

Cirie goes to Amanda and says they'll have to play things right at tribal tonight, with Amanda and Parvati blasting Erik in front of the jury while Cirie and Natalie stay cool. With that, Cirie says they can't risk being seen talking to each other any more today.

A snake waves its way through the sand. "Erik is SO DUMB," it thinks. And its brain is the size of, like, a pea. Erik goes to Natalie with a concern about their plan: that Parvati will give Amanda the hidden immunity idol tonight. Natalie just stares at Erik, like, "I can't believe this is your only concern. Or even a concern at all." But the fact that Erik is even considering that someone else would give immunity away is a serious hint that he's thinking of doing it, too. He asks Natalie to vote for Parvati tonight instead of Amanda. Yes, Parvati, who probably has the immunity idol and wouldn't just go and give it away. Good God, how does he not see this? Natalie says this makes a lot of sense and she can see that Erik is thinking of every angle. She urges him to "go out on a limb." Erik says he's scared.

Natalie goes to Cirie and tells her that Erik wants to vote for Parvati. Cirie says she'll agree with anything as long as it gets Erik to do the stupidest thing in Survivor history and, most importantly, keeps Cirie in the game. "We just gotta reel him in," Cirie says; "it would be the ultimate Jedi mind trick." Actually, no. Erik would have to be in possession of a mind for that to be possible.

The Final Five take a seat at tribal council and Probst calls in the jury. Alexis winks at Natalie. She does not flip anyone off even though she was blind-sided at the last tribal council. Imagine that, Ozzy! Probst starts things off by asking Erik why he took Amanda with him on the reward challenge after she tricked him at tribal council and "worked" him in front of the jury. Amanda smiles. Over at the jury, Eliza is already looking amazed at Erik's lack of brains, so you know she's going to be good tonight. Erik says he wanted to redeem himself with her, and thought that was a good way to do it. Probst asks Parvati about Exile Island. She says it was an awesome, fun mini-vacation. And then she came back to camp only to hear that Erik was running around promising different things to different people, making alliances with "every single person," which Amanda mouths along with her. Um, don't make it so obvious that you're reading the teleprompter there, Amanda. Just kidding! There's no way a moment like this could be scripted. As for Erik, he just nods along with Parvati's accusations. Probst plays right along with the girls' plan, asking Erik what he's thinking right now, hearing Parvati out him and seeing all the women nod along with her that what she's saying is true. Erik says he did promise people different things, and then they all told each other about it. He calls this a "stupid mistake" and wants "some kind of forgiveness" for that here. Amanda sternly informs him that his word means nothing now. She thought he redeemed himself by taking her on the reward, and now she realizes that he only did that to get her vote on the jury, which he was fully intending to send her to as soon as possible. The jury, by the way, just shake their heads and laugh. Amanda points at all the other women individually and says Erik told each of them the same things he told Amanda, and the sound effects people have a ball putting little stingers in with each point. Erik says he's trying to come forward now to fix things, but Amanda and Parvati say it's too late for that and none of them respect him anymore. That shouldn't matter to you, Erik. "Game aside, I'm hoping for some sense of forgiveness," Erik pleads. "You can't say game aside because we're playing this game. We're in this game right now," Parvati says, and that's some good advice that Erik should follow. This is a game. It's not a friendship. It's a game with a prize that some people would do or say anything to get. Maybe you've lost sight of that, but it's obvious that Parvati -- and the other three women -- have not. So you really need to get that sight back, or else you're going to look like the stupidest person to ever appear on reality TV. Do you have any idea the kinds of people you have to beat to accomplish that? Have you seen Rock of Love? Some of those people are brain dead! Erik says he's sincerely sorry as Eliza rolls her eyes, wondering why Erik thinks people's feelings matter so much.

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