If It Smells Like A Rat, Give It Cheese

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | 2 USERS: A+

A cheesy dolphin wipe takes us to Dabu, where Erik and Amanda are on their way back to camp. Cirie tells Natalie not to be bitter when their tribemates return looking well-rested and fed. Natalie says she's more bitter about the Exile thing and the broken promises than missing out on the reward. Erik and Amanda arrive on the beach and Erik is surprised not to find a welcoming party. Amanda is pretty sure why, and Erik says they should "tone it down a little" when they tell Cirie and Natalie about the reward. Cirie ain't having that, though, as she greets them with a "look who's back, bitches!" And just to fuck with Natalie's head even more, Cirie details all the amazing stuff she's sure they just experienced, based on what she got when she won that same reward challenge during her first season on the show. Then there's an awkward pause as no one speaks and Natalie just starts attacking a coconut with a machete. She's going to cut out that coconut's jugular and floss with it! Erik tells us that the return to camp was "bad," and for some reason, Natalie wouldn't talk to him or even look at him. "She obviously had resentment," he concludes. Well, yeah. That's what happens when you promise someone something and then break that promise, especially when said broken promise probably cost her a chance at one million dollars.

Cirie gets Erik alone and laughingly demands that he promise to take her on the next reward challenge he wins. Erik says that he was hoping to bring two people with him on the reward, and then he could take Natalie as well. Now she's mad at him. Cirie says Natalie seems to think that Erik wouldn't take Amanda with him on the reward if he was planning on voting her out. Erik says no matter what he does now, it'll either piss off Amanda or Natalie, so what can he do? How about not promise them the same thing? Or maybe LOOK AROUND BEFORE YOU SPEAK, as the camera suddenly spins to show us Natalie approaching the shelter from behind Erik's back, putting her in the perfect position to hear everything Erik says about how he thinks he, Parvati, and Cirie need to decide who is a bigger jury threat between Natalie and Amanda and vote her off ASAP. In fact, maybe Erik, Parvati, and Cirie should make a Final Three alliance. You'd think someone would have picked up on the fact that the camera that was shooting him and his conversation suddenly whirled around excitedly to shoot something else, and maybe figure out what that was before continuing. I mean, Natalie is STANDING RIGHT THERE! Like, three feet away! Of course, she's pissed, and tells us that Erik is a moron and she pretty much stood in front of him and listened to him say that she and Amanda needed to go. "I could've literally bitch-slapped him!" Natalie says; "smacked him like his mother." Ah, yes, another nonsensical threat of violence from Natalie. At least this time I can understand her rage.

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