Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
WHAT

And we're off! The players run to their first set of coordinates and then into the circle to set up their ropes. Of course, Erik is the first player to get his ropes set up and crossed, and he digs deep to get his first bag of pieces. They are buried pretty deep, so physical strength is a factor in this challenge, as is having long arms. Cirie is the next player to get the pieces, and these women need to at least try to dig faster if they want any hope of beating Erik. I've seen faster sand-digging from toddlers making sandcastles on the beach! Erik is well ahead, and has his puzzle assembled before Cirie even has her pieces out of the bag. Parvati and Natalie are still digging away in the first circle when Erik starts digging in the second one, and this is pathetic. Natalie gets her pieces and solves her first puzzle at about the same time as Erik solves his second one and sets out for the third circle. Meanwhile, Parvati is still in the first circle and Probst is disgusted with her, announcing that she is "nowhere close" to being in this challenge as he walks away from her sorry ass. "Oh, Jeff," she says as she digs up her first bag. Heh. I love it when the contestants engage with Probst. Because he hates them and they sort of know it. Erik pulls out his last bag of puzzle pieces and almost trips over himself as he runs back to the puzzle board. He pours them out on the board and spills them everywhere, but it doesn't make a difference -- unless he suddenly forgets how to solve puzzles, he's a lock to win this thing. "Guaranteed spot in the Final Four if you win it!" Probst says. Yeah, and also if you don't take leave of your senses and give the immunity necklace away. But what are the chances of that happening? Slim to none, surely! Erik solves the puzzle, which reads "Guaranteed: Final 4," and Probst pronounces him the winner. Erik is thrilled. The girls are not so much, especially Natalie. Probst once again stresses that Erik is now guaranteed a spot in the Final Four and that it will be one of the women going home tonight. So I'm sure that's exactly what will happen.

Back at the beach, Erik wanders around triumphantly while Natalie asks Parvati and Cirie if she's the one going home tonight. "Probably," Cirie says. She's disappointed, too, since Erik "worked us all like cheap suits." Okay, Cirie, I love you and all, but you messed that phrase up. It's either "all over me like a cheap suit" or "folded like a cheap suit." I actually thought it was "wear like a cheap suit," but a google search produced few matches for that and many matches for the other two terms. There were no matches for "work like a cheap suit." Amanda appears beside Parvati, and everyone tells her about how Erik told them all the same thing. Parvati says it's too bad he has that immunity necklace so they can't vote him out for such deceitful behavior. Pause. "I wonder if he would give Nat his necklace?" Cirie says. That's right, my girl Cirie said it! She is the MASTER! ALL BOW DOWN TO THE WILL OF CIRIE. But that comes later. For now, Cirie tosses the suggestion aside with a "probably not, huh?" But the seed has already been planted, and Amanda waters it by encouraging Natalie to talk Erik into giving her the necklace. "Work your magic! You can convince him to give it to you!" she says. Natalie says there's no way he'd go for it; it wouldn't benefit him to give the necklace away. Amanda says she could tell Erik it would redeem him in the eyes of the jury, none of whom are going to vote for Erik right now. That's pretty shaky, so Cirie must step in with something solid: Natalie should tell Erik that if he gives her the necklace, he will be redeemed AND Natalie, Cirie, and Erik will vote for Amanda. Natalie has her doubts: "who would fall for that? Like, I feel stupid listening to you guys right now." For real. Natalie is almost likeable this week with lines like that. "Ozzy, Jason, and Erik," Parvati answers. "You're good at this, Nat," Amanda says. What proof do they have that Natalie is good at convincing anyone of anything? The last time she tried to convince Erik to do something, he sent Parvati to Exile and took Amanda with him on the reward. Natalie says she'll give it her all because she has no other choice, but "this is just ridiculous." It is, and that's what makes it so great. Natalie says she'll tell Erik that Cirie is down with voting for Amanda. Cirie adds the important finishing touch: the only way she'll go along with them is if Erik shows he can be trusted by giving Natalie the necklace. "I have to see him save you to believe that he'll vote Amanda because of all the stuff he's been saying -- perfect!" Cirie says. Parvati thinks it could work and probably likes that she's not involved in this at all. This week is all about Parvati getting some R and R! Cirie says their success all depends on how good Natalie is with her mouth.

Survivor

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