Survivor
I'm Gonna Fix Her

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Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Third Time's A Charm

First we see Parvati's mom, Gail, and you can totally tell she's her mom. Gail hugs Parvati and says she looks and smells great. Aw, Moms. Erik gets to see his brother Curt, who, shockingly, has a shaved head. "You look so funny," Curt greets his brother. I like Curt. He makes fun of Erik's beard and then Erik points out Probst: "It's Jeff Probst! He's just standing there!" I kind of love that Erik is still thrilled by this, even though he is wearing short shorts when he says it. As for Probst, he just says: "Erik, you're a freak" while he fills out an application for a restraining order. Curt, by the way, just laughs and thinks his brother is a huge dork. Natalie is already crying because she knows her mother is coming out next. "Rocky, come on out!" Probst says. HOLD UP! ROCKY?! For real? I can't wait to see what comes charging out of those bushes. It's actually a woman who looks like what would happen if all of my elementary school teachers mated. I don't know if that's befitting of the name Rocky. Anyway, even though ROCKY is considerably larger than her daughter, you can still see the resemblance in the face and they hug and Natalie shows off her hairy armpit, which, like, thanks for that. It was bad enough when everyone raised their arms for that bucket challenge. You guys with HDTVs are in for a real treat next season! Alexis's brother Nathan comes out next. Why would she choose her brother to come out? I'd choose my mom, but my mom wouldn't come. She doesn't want to be on TV. Or anywhere that involves having to get shots. So I guess my dad would be the one visiting instead. But not my brother. He'd just be like Curt and make fun of me. Amanda's sister Katrina runs out and says her sister smells "better than last time." Amanda doesn't have much of a reaction, as usual. No tears or anything! As for James, he gets his dad, "James Sr." The guys exchange a man-hug and James Sr. says he's been dieting in the hopes that his stomach will soon match his son's. And last but not least is HB, who Probst calls Cirie's "man." HB runs out, and I see they've decided to play cheery calypso island music at the sight of a black man in dreadlocks. HB and Cirie hug and he gives her a flower. Awww!

Hugs over, Probst says that the winner will go to Jellyfish Lake with his or her family member for what will be a "one of a kind experience." Except it isn't, because I saw this reward during the Palau season. LAME! Surely there's somewhere else in Micronesia you can send these people without having to recycle? And like we wouldn't notice? It's Jellyfish freaking Lake! A lake full of thousands of stingless jellyfish tends to stick out in your mind. Also, someone will be sent to Exile Island where there is yet another immunity idol.

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Survivor

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