Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 696 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
I'm In Such A Hot Pickle!

Eliza storms back across the beach. She is no longer whistling a merry tune. She pulls Jason aside and asks him what he's trying to pull by giving her a fake idol. I love how Eliza assumed that Jason was just playing a trick on her because it didn't occur to her that anyone could have thought that smiling stick was real. Jason insists that it's the real idol. Eliza figures everything out: Ozzy found the real idol and made a fake one for Jason to find. "It's a fucking stick!" Eliza says. She's so mad that her mouth went blurry. This is kind of awesome. Too bad it's at Eliza's expense. "I know. It has a face on it, don't worry," Jason says. Oh my god. The face on Eliza right now is priceless. She's like, "Oh my god. I am in an alliance with an idiot. That makes me half-idiot. Damn it!" She again tries to explain to Jason that Ozzy just put a face on a piece of wood. "It's not the idol!" she says. "Why do you say that?" Jason asks again. "That can't be the idol," Eliza says. "Why not?" Jason asks. "Because it's just a stick!!!" Eliza says. "I know," Jason says. Look at his eyes. There is nothing behind them. "That's a bummer," Jason says unsympathetically, probably still thinking it's the real idol and Eliza's just being silly. Eliza wonders if she should try to play it anyway. Jason thinks so. I hope Eliza plays it right up Jason's ass.

The gang arrive at tribal council, and Probst starts off by asking Alexis if she's been sizing up her competition. Alexis says she looks at strength three ways: physical, mental, and social. Probst asks Cirie which strengths Alexis has, and Cirie says "all three" while Ozzy smiles and Amanda rolls her eyes. Cirie concludes that Alexis is a "triple threat," then apologizes for calling her out like that. Oh, shush, Cirie. You aren't sorry at all. Alexis says she's not worried about Cirie because there are plenty of "triple threats" left in the tribe. Probst keeps on talking to Alexis, asking her what Eliza's skills are. Alexis answers honestly that Eliza played a strong game mentally and physically, but not so much socially. Meanwhile, she is using the past tense, which Probst totally picks up on. He asks her about that. "Pardon me?" Alexis asks. Eliza scoffs at the dicks she's on a tribe with, who can't even wait for her to be voted out before acting like she isn't even there. She helpfully explains things to Alexis: "You said it in the past tense, as if I've already been voted out." "Okay. Sorry," Alexis says, not even looking at her. "It's okay," Eliza responds. Alexis might want to go back to not speaking at all so she can stop putting her foot in her mouth.

Survivor

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