I'm In Such A Hot Pickle!

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | Grade It Now!
I'm In Such A Hot Pickle!

Malakal return from tribal council and complain about the fire being out or something. It's all in night vision so I can't tell if they were looking at a glowing ember or radioactive waste. Cirie and Amanda dare to express regret over Ami's ouster, to which Ozzy says she dug her own grave. He tells us that he wouldn't have voted for Ami "ever" if she had been honest with him. Which is probably BS, but whatever makes you feel better about yourself. "That's a key in this game," Ozzy says. The only way honesty is a key in this game is when you aren't honest and you break promises. Then you get to the end and tell everyone you did what you had to do to win and they respect you for it and you get a million dollars. I don't know what show Ozzy's been watching all this time. "If she had just stuck with me, she'd still be in this game and Erik would be gone," he concludes. Of course, he's not a leader or anything. And I'm sure they would've voted Ami out in the next round anyway, so it was in her best interests to try to make a move rather than sit around and wait to be at the bottom of the totem pole. Meanwhile, Erik asks us "how the hell am I still here today?" Heh. Tonight his hair is looking especially like my best friend's mom's. Like, back in the early nineties. Erik finishes that thought with some stupid analogy about a house that's falling apart and hopes that the merge is coming up.

Over at Airai, Eliza whispers to Jason that she hopes Erik got voted out so that Ami, Eliza, and Jason can go to the Final Three. It's adorable that Eliza thinks a three-person alliance is enough to get her through this game. She also whispers that they've "really pissed off" half of who she believes will be on the jury, and I'm not sure what she thinks she did to earn everyone's spite. I know I missed a few episodes in the beginning, but all I've seen Eliza do so far is solve puzzles and win stuff. ["She just ends up getting hated by people, doesn't she? I think it's just her thing that she does. Of course, I love her, but I' know, not Parvati. Thank God." -- Joe R] Eliza tells us that her closest ally at this point is Jason, since they're both "on the outs." Also: "I think we both annoy people. Not gonna lie," she says; "that kind of unites us, too." Hey, Eliza, take heart: self-awareness is a good thing. I just hope that her tribemates have a legitimate reason for disliking Eliza this time around since on her first season some of them held some really petty BS against her that she had no control over. Except for Twila, who didn't like Eliza because she "talked too damn much." Twila was awesome. And now Jason lets Eliza in on the secret we've all been waiting for and knew was coming since the "previously on" pretty much spelled it out for us: he thinks he has the hidden immunity idol. Eliza is thrilled, and tells us that this helps her alliance. Oh, dear. I don't want to see Eliza make an ass out of herself.

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