Survivor
I'm In Such A Hot Pickle!

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Sara M: C | Grade It Now!
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I'm In Such A Hot Pickle!

With that, it's time to vote. Eliza votes for Ozzy and says "I hope something miraculous happens with this stick and you get voted out, not me." So do I! Parvati votes for Eliza and says she "picked the wrong girl to mess with" and she hopes Eliza "learned from [her] mistakes the second time around." You mean like don't make an alliance with someone who gets injured and has to leave the game? Or with someone who's too stupid to realize that contestants are capable of carving faces onto sticks? There's not much Eliza could've really done here.

Probst tallies the votes and asks if anyone wants to play the immunity idol. Eliza reaches into her bag and pulls out the stick as suspenseful music plays. Ozzy is cracking up. It would have been funnier if we didn't know that Eliza knew that this was fake. Alexis and Natalie don't appear to have any idea what's going on, though, so their faces of shock are pretty awesome. Too bad they won't last, as Probst takes out the idol and says it's not real. Jason doesn't look too bummed about that. Asshole. Eliza doesn't look surprised and announces that Ozzy has the real idol and put the fake one on the island. "It was worth a shot," Eliza shrugs. Probst throws the idol into the fire, and Ozzy assholishly laughs that it took him hours to make. I know you're not the one going home tonight, Ozzy, but someone else is and you could try to be a better sport about it. I hope everyone laughs his ass off when it's your turn to go, too. Probst reads the votes. Ozzy gets two and Eliza gets the rest. Probst extinguishes her torch and she waves good-bye to everyone. Weirdly, Parvati waves back. We get a shot of the fake idol smiling away in the fire pit before we go to credits.

Eliza says she did everything she could to stay in the game and "went out with a bang." She laughs at herself for getting stuck with the fake idol and says at least she got to call Ozzy out for having the real one. Bye, Eliza! At least we'll see you on the jury.

You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she's bored at work. Or you can try your luck emailing her at saramorrison@gmail.com with news that some Nigerian king died and she stands to gain ten percent of his fortune if she hands over her bank account info.

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Survivor

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