Survivor
I'm In Such A Hot Pickle!

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I'm In Such A Hot Pickle!

Parvati and Amanda, Cool Girls Club president and vice-president respectively, hang out in the water and agree they missed each other soooooo much. Parvati notices Eliza staring at them and laughs. "I'm so sick of her!" she says. Parvati wants Eliza to go home right now. Man, I don't know what Eliza was like on Airai when the cameras weren't on her, but apparently she was unbearable. All I know is, when she was on the Vanuatu season, I watched her for hours and hours and the only thing I didn't like was that she talked really fast and said a lot so it would take days to transcribe one of her interviews. Parvati switches subjects to alliances and the one she signed Amanda up for with Natalie and Alexis. "I put us in an alliance without you being there!" Parvati beams like this is the funniest thing ever. Amanda is smiling but it's the kind of smile you make when you get socks for Christmas, or bats for a merge feast -- you can tell she's not at all pleased. Parvati says they're in a good position because the game is revolving around them. Even so, "we're in such a mess!" Parvati says. That had better by a royal "we," there, Parv. This isn't Amanda's mess. "Parvati pretty much screwed me over," Amanda tells us. Ha ha! She doesn't want to be in an alliance with the man-stealing whore Alexis, nor does she think she can win if it came down to her and Alexis in the Final Two. "She's a motivational speaker for crying out loud," Amanda says. Don't let that intimidate you too much, Amanda. No really -- don't. We've only just learned that Alexis was capable of speaking. It'll be another twenty-four days before she's doing any motivating, and by then the game will be long over. Not sensing that Amanda's kind of pissed, Parvati jokes that she might as well make an alliance with Erik, Jason, and Eliza just to complete the circle. Don't forget to make that alliance for Amanda, too! "I giggled about it to her, but it's not funny," Amanda tells us; "I'm livid. And it leaves me with a lot of questions about Parvati." If I didn't feel so bad for Eliza this week, I'd probably have a twinge or two for Amanda, who has to deal with a friend who makes stupid alliances on her behalf and watch her new involuntary alliance member flirt with her beach boyfriend.

It's Day 24, and Alexis and Natalie find some treemail that looks like the challenge is going to involve drowning. Fun! Jason's the one who correctly guesses what exactly the challenge will entail, but I still won't acknowledge he has a brain. For example, Jason then tells us that while he knows he's on the outs of the new tribe, he has the hidden immunity idol to use as a bargaining chip. He'd be better off with a potato chip. Jason continues that if he wins immunity today, that will mean tonight's votes will be "casted" towards Eliza. So he can give her the immunity idol and their little alliance will stay in the game. That ... won't do much good. There's just two of them. If you both have immunity this round, you'll just get voted out in the next two rounds, right? But he tells Eliza he's going to give the idol to her if he wins the challenge, and she tells us she's thrilled. "I made an alliance with the right person who was sent to Exile one too many times!" she says. Who, Kathy? Didn't she quit? Oh, she means Jason. How sad. Eliza continues that Jason's plan to give away the idol actually does make some sense, since they'll vote for Ozzy and everyone else will vote for Eliza. All those votes will be discounted when she reveals the immunity idol, and Ozzy will go home. At least, that's what would happen if Jason wasn't so stupid.

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