Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 895 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
April Fool

Probst talks to Rob, saying that his tribe's last Tribal Council was "one of the craziest [Probst has] ever seen" in his twenty seasons of this show. That can't possibly be true, but Probst loves to stroke Li'l Russell's ego, so there it is. Rob says losing Tyson was a "big mistake" and ultimately hurt the tribe. Li'l Russell speaks up and says that he made "the best move that was possible" for his alliance. "And it was my decision," he says. Does he really have to point that out? Surely he knows by now that the Survivor editors will make that abundantly clear. Or I guess not, since his season didn't air before this one began shooting. Parvati says that the move hurt a lot of people's feelings to the point where they're sucking in challenges. Now Douche gets all offended at the implication that he isn't giving his all in challenges, then says that everyone is too paranoid about alliances. Maybe Douche should have gone on Fun Picnic Hour with Rupert instead of this show. Rob says that some people are voting to keep their alliances strong instead of to benefit the entire tribe. As if Rob isn't doing that too, as Li'l Russell immediately points out, saying that Rob didn't vote for Li'l Russell last time in the interests of keeping the team strong. Rob says he did, which could be true in that Li'l Russell really doesn't help his tribe out much in challenges and he's a troublemaker who's tearing the tribe apart. Li'l Russell quotes Rob, saying "if you aren't with me, you're against me." "And you are against me," Rob says; "it's clear." Basically, Li'l Russell is the one who set himself up against Rob from the start. He was never important enough to Rob to bother fighting against, not even now, really. Rob has been on Li'l Russell's radar this entire game. I don't think Li'l Russell has been on Rob's.

Rob says that his idea "of trust -- AND LOYALTY -- (HINT HINT DOUCHE) is different from Russell's." "Loyalty? I put my butt on the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine for my people," Li'l Russell says. "I saw what you did," Rob says. Yes, exactly. Li'l Russell didn't do that for Parvati's sake -- he did it for his own. Just like Rob has done plenty of shitty things to his tribemates to further himself in the game. I'm not sure what they're fighting over here. "I don't think you have the guts to do what I did last Tribal," Li'l Russell says. He's probably right about that, although I'm not convinced that it has to do with a lack of guts or a presence of brains. Rob doesn't deny it, just shrugs and says that Li'l Russell is entitled to his opinion. Way to make it look like Rob backed down in the face of a superior opponent, editors. Also, what happened to Rob saying that Li'l Russell was like a suicide bomber? We saw it in the previews, but it's not in the actual episode. I feel like I've been lied to. "If you're gunnin' for me, you're not gonna get what you want. Not from me. You're gonna have to go," Li'l Russell says, as Jerri buries her face in her hands and Rob just laughs. Probst asks Douche where he is with all of this, which gives Douche the chance to talk about how they're two soldiers fighting for different sides and he's begging them both to "reconsider and keep this tribe strong." He says they can't win challenges if their "best competitors" are against each other. "At some point, you pick someone to trust and you go with that. And that's all there is to do. And I did that," Rob says, looking Douche in the eyes. Probst reminds everyone that Jerri's name has yet to come up and asks her how it feels to be stuck in between Rob and Li'l Russell, both figuratively and literally. Jerri says both alliances have come to her with good reasons to side with them and she just hopes her decision is the right one. With that, they vote.

Survivor

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