Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 896 USERS: C+
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April Fool

Over at the Villains camp, Douche looks solemn as Jerri talks to Li'l Russell about what her choices are in the game at this point. He stands around awkwardly until they call him over, thinking he's being all slick about listening in on their conversation without them realizing it, and Li'l Russell swears that he wants to take Jerri and Li'l Russell to the Final Three, from the bottom of his heart and everything! So genuine. With his typical complete lack of self-awareness, Douche interviews about how some people on his tribe are really gullible and will believe anything Li'l Russell tells them. He thinks Jerri is one of those people. Jerri tells him that she has "made [her] decision" and hopes that Douche will agree with it because she won't feel comfortable going over to Li'l Russell's side without him. Um, shouldn't she be having this conversation where Li'l Russell can't hear her? Does she really think it's a good idea for a possible future ally to know that she doesn't fully trust him, and probably never will over Douche? If he actually did want to take her to the Final Three before, I can't imagine that he feels the same way now. Douche interviews that he doesn't know what to do, since he's "honor-bound" to play this game with Jerri and Rob, but now Jerri wants to switch to Li'l Russell's side so he'll have to break his alliance with one of them. He blames Jerri for causing this and not himself for making stupid promises to people that he can't keep.

Li'l Russell scampers away, and Jerri tells Douche that she was indeed impressed with Li'l Russell's move last night, which she believes took "huge balls." I'd rather not think about Li'l Russell's balls, please. She never fully trusted Rob after the stuff he pulled when they were on Season 8 together, and she hasn't had the advantage of watching Li'l Russell's season so she thinks he must be more trustworthy based on the loyalty he showed by giving the idol to Parvati. Douche reminds Jerri that Rob was a different person six years ago and so far, this season, he's been true to his word. But Douche doesn't want to talk about game stuff anymore because there's a more pressing issue of his hurt feelings to address. Cue the hilariously sad piano music as Douche says that Jerri made the decision to side with Li'l Russell without asking Douche first, and he feels like she trusts Douche and Li'l Russell equally and that's not fair because Douche saw her first. Jerri stammers out a non-answer to that because she has no idea how to be reassuring and sympathetic to others. She interviews that Douche is "so naïve" and doesn't seem to understand that people are playing this game to win the million dollars, not the title of most honorable. Which Douche wouldn't even win anyway. "You can't be the good guy to everyone and win this game," she says.

Survivor

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