Survivor

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April Fool

The Villains arrive at Tribal Council. Probst greets them by saying that they've been "destroyed" by the Heroes' strong group of five. Uh, no, Probst. They lost two challenges in a row. That's not exactly destroyed. Yet. He asks Sandra what tonight's vote will be like now that the Villains have to worry about remaining strong against the Heroes. Basically, he's telling everyone that they should vote out a weak woman and not a strong guy. Probst and Douche have very similar thought processes. Sandra says she has no idea what's going to happen tonight, as she's heard a lot of names at camp. Probst asks Douche if his tribe is in trouble with all of this turmoil, and Douche rambles on about mornings and hope springing eternal before saying that Tyson's absence left a big hole in the tribe. Yes, Douche, and whose fault is it that Tyson is gone? Li'l Russell's! And yet, you promised to ally with him. Why? It makes no sense. Douche says that Tyson was part of the glue that held his and Jerri's alliance with Rob, Courtney, and Sandra together. Li'l Russell starts to speak up to disagree, but Danielle interrupts him to say that she, too, disagrees. Shut up, Danielle. Turn your microphone off again, okay? Li'l Russell says that Tyson's ouster actually made a certain group even stronger. Probst says that the fact that they're disagreeing with Douche kind of indicates that there are divisions within the tribe. Danielle makes a comment about people being allowed to disagree that Probst and I totally ignore.

Probst talks to Rob, saying that his tribe's last Tribal Council was "one of the craziest [Probst has] ever seen" in his twenty seasons of this show. That can't possibly be true, but Probst loves to stroke Li'l Russell's ego, so there it is. Rob says losing Tyson was a "big mistake" and ultimately hurt the tribe. Li'l Russell speaks up and says that he made "the best move that was possible" for his alliance. "And it was my decision," he says. Does he really have to point that out? Surely he knows by now that the Survivor editors will make that abundantly clear. Or I guess not, since his season didn't air before this one began shooting. Parvati says that the move hurt a lot of people's feelings to the point where they're sucking in challenges. Now Douche gets all offended at the implication that he isn't giving his all in challenges, then says that everyone is too paranoid about alliances. Maybe Douche should have gone on Fun Picnic Hour with Rupert instead of this show. Rob says that some people are voting to keep their alliances strong instead of to benefit the entire tribe. As if Rob isn't doing that too, as Li'l Russell immediately points out, saying that Rob didn't vote for Li'l Russell last time in the interests of keeping the team strong. Rob says he did, which could be true in that Li'l Russell really doesn't help his tribe out much in challenges and he's a troublemaker who's tearing the tribe apart. Li'l Russell quotes Rob, saying "if you aren't with me, you're against me." "And you are against me," Rob says; "it's clear." Basically, Li'l Russell is the one who set himself up against Rob from the start. He was never important enough to Rob to bother fighting against, not even now, really. Rob has been on Li'l Russell's radar this entire game. I don't think Li'l Russell has been on Rob's.

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Survivor

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