I'm Not As Dumb As I Look

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
Dumb Is Right

Voting. Everybody votes, and Jeff comes back with the votes. Before he can read them, Jaime, with obvious sheepishness, says she has a question. "I found this at camp, lying on the floor," she says, "so I thought it might be...immunity?" She kind of makes a face, and you can tell she knows by now that it probably isn't, by the weak way she says it. Todd and James smirk. Jeff recites the rules of the immunity idol, and how it nullifies votes against you. And Jeff smirks, too, as he throws the plaque into the fire, treating Jaime with approximately as much contempt as he used on Osten when he quit the game. Jean-Robert, of course, finds this hysterically funny, as does James. And of course, Jaime is soundly voted out, which is exactly what would have happened to her had she not tried to play it, so it certainly didn't harm her, except that it put her in the middle of a storyline that only works if they try to make her look stupid. Jeff announces to the tribe when Jaime is gone that she was the first member of the jury, so good luck to those of them who chose to be loud and snorty. Good thing she's the stupid one, or it might look like the stupid ones were...some of you! But not! She's so stupid, what are the odds she even heard you?

I can't really explain why, to even my own satisfaction, but this whole thing really bugged me. Maybe the post that Scout was so kind to leave at the former contestants' blog can help me crystallize why it irked me. (Please note that Scout has already revealed herself to be actually dumb, as well as inarticulate and often outright racist, in her previous posts. I realize that this may come as a surprise if you watched her season and think of her as an old hippie, me.) She had, in part, this to say this week: "THE BLUNDERING, BUBBLE HEAD, BLONDE IS BANISHED.Our man, James, gets the last laugh on Jaime McGiggles. HA! HA! HA! Our gullible, giggling McValley Girl ain't laughin' now. Please, Oh Please, play that part again about Jaime tryin' to play the mock Immunity Idol! Bring out all the blonde jokes and slap them on Jaime. She truly deserves them. It just goes to show you that a person on The Dean's List may not have a lick of practical sense. Now, what was that she said? 'I'm very good at playing stupid!' HELLO! Oh, yeah! There was also that part about, 'I'm not as dumb as I look.' Duh! It’s all about the numbers, Baby, and Jaime didn't stand a chance."

"Bring out all the blonde jokes," indeed. Okay, so, the Los Angeles Times interviewed me about Survivor recently, and one of the things I said that they didn't use was that to me, the satisfaction of this show comes from the vanquishing of bullies. When guys like Rocky or Alex get bounced after spending the entire series preening and bullying, that's very satisfying to me, because I hate people like that, and we all hate people like that. And I felt like this episode was premised on the idea that I'm supposed to hate girls who are young and pretty, who were cast by the show for being young and pretty, and I'm supposed to hate them just for being young and pretty. Like I'm supposed to be sitting in my living room hating the shit out of pretty girls and resenting them madly, so obviously, I would -- like Scout -- get great satisfaction out of seeing them get screwed. I just don't understand what it is about Jaime that's supposed to generate this much glee at something bad happening to her, other than that she's young and pretty. I it that she threw the challenge? Because I think it's been pretty well demonstrated that that was her best option at the time, especially having seen this play out, since what she and Peih-Gee predicted was going to happen is exactly what happened, so...why am I supposed to be mad at her again? I haven't seen her do anything nasty to anyone, I haven't seen her be princessy about anything, and I haven't seen her be full of herself. What, because she laughed after they threw the challenge? When James was berating her and Peih-Gee for being hopelessly terrible at puzzles and haughtily ordering Erik to decide which of the women would go home, when Jaime knew that she and Peih-Gee in fact threw the challenge and that James was therefore making a total asshole out of himself by trying to dictate what was going to happen next and rake them over the coals over how dumb they were? Absolutely; no argument. She has a terrible poker face. So does every person who smirked and giggled at the thing getting thrown into the fire at this tribal council. I don't see the connection between that and intelligence.

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