Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 904 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
How Do You Like Them Apples?

Probst asks Erik how it feels to have immunity. He says it sucks, and gives the necklace to James. Actually, he says it's awesome. Duh, Probst. Probst asks Jason if his social standing in the game has "truly" changed. Jason stupidly says it has while everyone else laughs at him. He just heard every guy say women were now voting them off because they were physical threats and all of the "providing" they did no longer mattered, right? Why would Jason think this doesn't apply to him? In order to give us at least some suspense, Jason stupidly adds that after being away from the tribe for two days while he was on Exile Island, he's not sure where he stands. Probst asks Natalie if it's possible to change one's status in the game so quickly. She says it most certainly is possible, somehow managing to refrain from adding "to make a sweet leather jacket out of Jason's skin," as Jason stupidly smiles. With that, they vote.

Jason stupidly votes for James. James votes for Parvati, as promised, and speechifies ONCE AGAIN about apples. That's three times that we saw on camera -- who knows how many times he said this that were cut out? He must have been talking about apples for the entire three days! That's why he didn't bid on the auction -- there was nothing in it made of apples. He only ate the fruit bat soup because there was a possibility the bats had recently eaten apples. James' favorite folk hero is Johnny Appleseed, and his favorite grandmother is Granny Smith. He only uses Mac computers and he's going to quit the gravedigging business so he can become a teacher and hopefully get shiny apples from his students. WE GET IT!

During the vote, Ozzy sits in the jury with his arms folded like a little boy. I can't believe he managed not to trip Parvati as she walked by him to vote. Probst returns with the urn and asks if anyone wants to play their idol. It's more like "Did Jason stupidly fall for your brilliant plan?" Everyone looks around nervously. James doesn't understand why Jason hasn't immediately stood up to play his idol, and it shows on his face. He may also be thinking "oh shit! I voted for Parvati! I should have voted for Jason! What if I get voted out because I voted for Parvati and not Jason? Also, appleappleapple." Jason sits there, looking calm and confident. He doesn't play the idol. James closes his eyes, feeling sorry for Jason already. He knows what it feels like to not play the idol when it's entirely obvious that you should. Probst calls an end to the idol throwdown waiting period, and James's eyes bug out. He can't believe Jason didn't play the idol. Well, I can. Jason is a fucking moron.

Survivor

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