I'm Ruthless … And Have a Smile on My Face

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
How Do You Like Them Apples?
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

I don't usually recap the previouslys, but I'll make an exception in this case as it was so wildly different than what I saw on the actual show last week. Ozzy had the immunity idol and an alliance he trusted. His only competition was Jason, who barely beat him in one immunity challenge. Jason and Parvati were the last people left in an endurance challenge, and everyone promised not to vote Jason out if he stepped down. Jason has never seen this show before so he trusted them, and the "Favorites" immediately decided to vote him out despite their promises. Then Parvati -- and Parvati alone, with no help whatsoever from Cirie -- formed a plan to double-cross Ozzy and convinced others to join her. That night, a confident Ozzy did not play his idol and was shocked to become the second jury member. All thanks to Parvati!

For some reason, we don't get to see everyone's reactions as soon as they got back to camp from tribal council. Lame. Instead, we open on the next morning, when everyone's had a night to deal with it and it's old news. Erik tells the Ozzy voters that he understands why they didn't include him in their plan, adding it was a good decision on their part as he probably would have squealed to Ozzy. Erik, you moron: Ozzy is out of the game. You no longer need to be loyal to him, and should not advertise the fact that you would betray the most powerful people in this game right now. This is only making you look like a less and less desirable alliance member, should the girls ever open their little club up to penises. Erik wonders where Amanda is right now. "She's probably bumming like crazy," he says.

She is, though not because her onetruelove Ozzy is gone, but because her awesome powerful alliance is destroyed and the chances of her making final four are much slimmer now. I mean, crap -- now she's going to have to, like, think and work in the challenges and stuff. Bummer! Amanda's talking to James, who graciously says that the girls made a good move. Amanda's not quite as pleased, and tells us that she's "very upset," and "what nerve" of Cirie and Parvati to go behind her back and vote out Ozzy, thereby making Amanda, James, and Erik look like idiots. Amanda apparently thinks she's playing Information, the game where everyone tells everyone else what's going on. Amanda says Parvati, Cirie, Natalie, and Alexis are an alliance now, and she's pretty sure they're going to take the men out. Which is fine for her right now, since she's a girl. Final Five for you, Amanda! And all you had to do to get it was sleep with Ozzy and sit on the beach with your mouth hanging open. And with all the men out by the final five and you being so huge, you may very well immunity yourself all the way to the Final Two, something you wouldn't have had a chance at with Ozzy and James around. It's time to make lemonade out of those lemons you're sucking on, Amanda! Amanda says when she saw that second vote for Ozzy, she thought "what the hell." It looked to me like she was thinking "gaaahhhh" at the time. "Every single person here wanted to vote for Jason," she says. Not everyone, Amanda! Just the people who were so comfortable in their alliance that they didn't feel the need to strategize anymore. Amanda tells us that she's ready to play now. "Game on. Bring it on. Like, let's do this," she says. I'll be sure to remember those words later in the hour when Amanda does absolutely no game-playing whatsoever (spoiler!).

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