Survivor
I'm Ruthless … And Have a Smile on My Face

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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How Do You Like Them Apples?

Jason stupidly (I should just use that adverb automatically every time he does something, shouldn't I?) goes off alone, giving the rest of the tribe the chance to plot about voting him out. But first, they want to make sure Jason stupidly found the idol, so Natalie looks through his bag for it. I hope Jason stupidly went through all of the girls' bags at some point and peed in them. Natalie and Amanda find the idol while Cirie sits back, not getting her hands dirty. They stuff it back in Jason's bag while Erik and James look on, shaking their heads. Cirie either says or asks if Jason will play the idol tonight.

Natalie tells us that she hopes she got her point across to Jason during the thirty seconds she spoke to him before the challenge. Jason is a moron, so I think it would take anyone several days to get any point across, no matter how simple that point was to understand. Natalie says it would be "perfect" and "brilliant" if the girls voted Jason out while he had the idol and he was blindsided the same way Ozzy was. Yes, that would be brilliant. You know what would have been slightly more brilliant? Not putting the one guy you want to vote out in a position to get the immunity idol. Please don't pat yourself on the back without slapping your wrist for that one, Nats. Natalie meets Jason on the beach, and he stupidly and earnestly thanks her for keeping her word to him after last week's challenge. Natalie tells him the plan to vote James out tonight, Jason stupidly admits that he found the idol, to which Natalie feigns surprise. Natalie says she made sure the idol was on Exile before sending him there, and that this is all as she "intended." Jason stupidly says that he knows this, and that the idol is here for the alliance to use however they want.

While the Evil Women Flute plays its evil tune, Jason tells us that he trusts Natalie since she kept her word to him when Ozzy and his alliance did not. "I'm gonna have to trust her now," he stupidly says, not understanding that the point of the immunity idol is that you don't have to trust anyone. "I think I'm pretty evil. I think I can be pretty evil," Natalie tells us. Dude, what was in that cake? Not only has it finally brought words out of Natalie's mouth, but it's unleashed a heretofore unseen personality as well. Odder still, that personality is one of a mustachioed cartoon villain. I guess that makes Jason the damsel in distress on the train tracks. Except in this case, he thinks the train tracks are actually for lumbar support and the approaching train is the Friendship Mobile coming to pick him up. "I'm in Game Mode," Natalie assures us. Good for you, dear. It's only DAY 30. Way to come here to play. Between Amanda and Natalie, I think I'm Game Moded out! "I'm actually having a lot more fun; I'm getting to be more myself," Natalie says, making a gesture with both hands that looks like the Universal Sign for boobs, which is ironic considering that Natalie's boobs are almost as fake as her friendly smiles. Natalie revels in the fact that the person she really is turns out to be "ruthless" and "stone cold bitch" and "cutthroat." Don't forget "unhinged" and "really annoying."

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Survivor

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