I'm Ruthless … And Have a Smile on My Face

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
How Do You Like Them Apples?

Another mystery item is next, and this is less an auction than it is Deal or No Deal. Natalie wins an unseen bidding war to take the item for $240. Loser! Probst takes great delight in revealing that she just won a bowl of fruit bat soup, last seen at the merge feast. Actually, I think this is the exact same bat soup that was at the merge feast, because those bats are looking nasty. Natalie sits back down without taking the soup (what an ungrateful bitch!), so James volunteers to eat it. I think Probst thought he was bluffing, so he tells James to take it. James walks up and instructs Probst on the finer points of eating bat (you have to remove the skin first) as he chows down. Probst tries to look nonchalant and cool about it, but I think he's about to barf.

For the next item, we finally get something uncovered: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of milk. The bids immediately start flying, and it comes down to Amanda vs. Alexis. Either Amanda is determined not to lose to Alexis again or she LOVES peanut butter and jelly, because she wins it for $280 and Probst can't believe her big spending ways. He makes some comment about people paying a lot of money for food when they've been deprived of it, like this is anything new to us.

The next item is another mystery. Natalie takes it for another $240 and it looks like she got fucked again, because Probst lifts the cover to reveal a bottle. "Wow," Natalie says, so pissed off. Ah, but wait -- this bottle has a note in it. Natalie reads: "You must choose one person to go to Exile Island immediately and you take all of the money they have left." Not exactly grammatically sound, but the message gets across, and Jason's face immediately falls. He pathetically begs Natalie not to send him. She ignores him and asks Probst if the immunity idol has been re-planted there. Probst says yes, there is a new idol on the island with new clues to find it. Which means that going to Exile is not such a bad thing at all. Anyway, Natalie sends Jason, who is very upset. Meanwhile, Erik is still eating his nachos. Yum. Natalie points out that this is good for Jason, since he now has a chance to find the idol. "Like, I don't know why he's trippin'," Natalie says, suddenly sounding like an extra on the set of the music video for "OPP" (yeah you know me!). As for Probst, he's ready with a quip of his own, as he stares down Jason and says, "That's true. This time maybe you'll get a real one." He just couldn't resist, could he? Everyone tries to withhold laughter as Jason gives his money to Natalie and leaves the auction.

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