It Could All Backfire

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
My Other Car Is A Pontiac Aztek

In the shelter, Ian tells Katie he wants to talk to her. "That's actually the last thing I'd like to do this morning," Katie says. Ian looks miserably out into the water. "All right," he says. "Well...I still need to talk to you." He interviews that it was "a horrible, horrible a bomb had exploded." He then waits in the shelter while the three women are out washing dishes or clothes or something, and Katie is furiously repeating to them with great pride her line about "That's the last thing I'd like to do this morning," and it's then that I realize Katie has a thing for Ian. The only times you breathlessly repeat to your women friends the thing you said to some guy that really gave him what-for are when he's (1) your boyfriend; (2) your ex; (3) your friend's boyfriend who sucks; or (4) the guy whose attention you're trying to get because you wish he were your boyfriend and he isn't. Process of elimination, baby! Back in the shelter, Ian says disbelievingly to Tom, "It was a reward challenge." Clearly, he doesn't think Katie should be this upset about something that's just a bonus -- probably in particular because she just fucked him over on a reward challenge, like, two days ago, and he totally forgave her. And then, weirdly, he says, "This is like, classic girl -- this is like girl troubles back home." AHA! See? He has a little bit of a thing with her, too, or at least he knows that she does. I mean, putting aside the stupidity of the "girl troubles" expression and the chicks-is-crazy of it all, this is a tiny bit fascinating, because I think the dynamic between these two is actually kind of complex. Either she digs him and she's mad at him because he doesn't dig her, or he digs her and is trying to prove it to her with loyalty and got his feelings hurt last time and tried to pay her back, or possibly...both. That, of course, would be the most excellent tragedy. He digs, she digs, nothing happens. Boo! Anyway.

When Katie returns from her little chat with the other women, Ian asks for five minutes to talk to her. He insists that he doesn't want to talk about the game, and she mutters something about how "it's all the game." He asks her again for five minutes and asks her to give him that, "as opposed to listening to everybody else." She finally relents, as she's wanted to all along. "Let's walk," he says. As they stroll on the beach, he points out that he won a reward challenge, and that forty-eight hours before, she had knocked him out of a reward challenge to go off with Gregg and A-Jenn, and that Tom essentially got screwed by his own alliance as well. Because this is an unanswerably airtight argument, Katie has to come up with a reason why Ian shouldn't be making it, so she gets all, "Don't make me feel guilty about that. That was not something I won. Stop that now. It's not about the reward challenge." Oh, right. She didn't win -- she just knocked Ian out. It's absurd, her argument. Absurd. Ian goes on to tell her that irrespective of what the other women are telling her, he swore on the cross around his neck that he wouldn't ever participate in a vote against Katie. He insists that this is still his plan. And then he hits her again: "I feel like I'm dealing with girl troubles back home." Which, if I am reading the situation right, thrills Katie, because this is just what she wants -- they're all relationshippy, get it? Get it? Ratcheting up the emotion without tipping her hand, she answers that she feels like she "lost [her] best friend," because he didn't take her on the reward challenge. She is actually in tears as she says, "You promised me that you would never lie to me, and you did yesterday. I can't believe anything you say to me. I just, I can't." And now, Ian's getting teary, too, because my sense is that he's a sensitive enough person that having her cry like this kills him, even though he doesn't deserve it.

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