It Could All Backfire

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
My Other Car Is A Pontiac Aztek

And he totally doesn't deserve it. I mean, are you kidding me? Katie's going to tear up about trust when she knocked his ass out of the last reward challenge? And when she was sitting on that boat with Gregg and A-Jenn agreeing to an F3 with them that would screw Ian utterly? Not only that, but she made with the cute faces about stabbing him in the back, all, "Would ya hate me?" Seriously. If you remember her going, "Would ya hate me?" like Betty Boop, and then you watch this scene, you will just want to throw up, because...shut up. SHE SUCKS!

Now, Katie babbles on about "closest thing [she] had to family," and complains that Ian figured he could just take Tom, because he could "step all over Katie." Of course, he's not the closest thing she had to family. The closest thing she had to family was her actual family member she got to see, unlike Ian, who did not get to see his family member in part because she knocked him out of the reward challenge. She sucks. SHE SUCKS! Katie insists that Ian didn't think about how she'd feel seeing him "go against [his] word." He is still a little disbelieving, what with the tiny shreds of common sense that still cling to him, and he looks at her and stammers, "Over -- dinner?" And of course, because she sounds ridiculous, Katie has to insist that -- you guessed it -- this is Bigger Than Dinner. She claims, essentially, that she was "embarrassed."

I realize we are collapsing into a rant here, but...BAH! How do you think Ian felt, Katie, when you knocked him out at Gregg's behest, you jerk? SHE SUCKS! Ian sits down on the beach, entirely unable to believe that this is such a big fucking deal. She continues to weep in his face about how unfair it was for him to approach her at the last minute about the Gregg vote. He tries to apologize -- which is hopeless, because you can totally tell he has no idea what he's really supposed to be apologizing for -- telling her that "sometimes friends make huge mistakes." He calls himself a "scatterbrain" and implies that if she wants him to, he'll quit. Quit! The game! To prove himself to her! I don't get this dynamic at all. AT ALL! SHE SUCKS! I don't care if he's eleven feet tall and plays with dolphins -- somewhere, there is a girl better than this. "I would never want you to do that," Katie insists. Ian tells her that he hopes she'll forgive him (blech!) and that he hopes to her friend for the rest of his life (BLECH!), and he is still crying. SHE SUCKS! Ian: "If you don't want it, that's fine, and I'll stay away, but the bottom line is like, I'm off my rocker in so many different ways, and I'm sorry." She kicks the sand. They hug. They are definitely, definitely in the middle of some weird-ass courtship/sex ritual that just escapes me utterly. That line about "If you don't want it, I'll stay away"...that's not a friendship line. Same with the offer to quit. I suspect it will all come to nothing between them because they're both fundamentally inert, but there's definitely a bizarre undercurrent at work. As they're hugging and he's kissing the top of her head, he says, "I'll do my damndest not to be stupid again." They head back to camp. SHE SUCKS!

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