It Hit Everyone Pretty Hard

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
So Long, My Lovelies
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Ozzy's #1 Lesson On Both Kissing And Subterfuge-itudinal Whittling: Subtlety Is Overrated: Ozzy found himself a hidden immunity idol, and he made a little fake one to put in its place. Hey, it looked like he learned some things from Yau-Man, even if none of them were "keep Yau-Man around." Ozzy decided to share the news with his "four-clique," as Amanda barfily put it while doing a little dance we'll call "The Wax-On Wax-Off Modified Push-It." (It's too bad there's no obvious, well-established name for a group of people who are allied with each other, or we might not be learning the unfortunate fact that Amanda is one of those weird people who uses "clique" to refer to a group she's actually part of.) Unfortunately for the Four-Sex Mafia, things got tricky when Jeff brought out a tribal mix-up that no one except a person who had watched the show before could possibly have predicted.

While the scramble left Ozzy with Amanda, it split the two of them from BFFs James and Parvati. So now, it's just a couple of sad little two-cliques. The new Malakal included Ozzy, Amanda, Ami, Cirie, Joel, Erik, Tracy, and Chet; the new Airai included Natalie, Jason, Kathy, Alexis, James, Parvati, Eliza, and Jonathan. An asinine challenge, based on the book The Marquis de Sade's Outdoor Games For Fun And Bleeding, forced people to drag each other around in a woodsy area full of muddy brush. Jonathan took a predictable sharp stick to the leg, resulting in a very ugly puncture wound that was stitched up as some of us lay on the floor or breathed into paper bags to keep ourselves from passing out, because: there is a Airai won the challenge, and it looked like Chet was not long for this world. But Cirie talked the rest of the old-timers into throwing in with Chet and Tracy to bounce Joel instead. (My favorite part of the previouslys is where Jeff says, "Joel came up with a plan," and the tricky plan was to boot Chet, the most pitiable patsy to come along since Not Me was tracking mud all over the Family Circus house.) The other weird thing is that Jeff says "the Favorites used Tracy and Chet," where my impression is that this is what Tracy wanted to do for herself. I don't think anybody "uses" Tracy for much of anything; Tracy was looking out for number one, and she knew exactly what she was doing. It's not like Joel was otherwise going to be Tracy and Chet's ally. Fifteen left: who's next?

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