It Hit Everyone Pretty Hard

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
So Long, My Lovelies

And now, over to Airai, where we go directly to a close-up of the unreasonably blue eyes of one Jonathan Penner. I'm telling you, I have never seen eyes that color in my life; it's unsettling. Well, unsettlingly awesome. James and Parvati are nearby, and James asks how the knee is. "Your knee's all right, huh?" he says hopefully. Jonathan insists that it's "feeling better," though he's not recovering as quickly as he'd hoped. James interviews that he hopes the leg will be okay, because the loss of Jonathan would be quite a blow to the team, partly just because he's "a good guy to have around." Aw, sniffle! And then James has to ruin it by saying, "I'd be stuck over here with a bunch of girls, losing my mind." Apparently, Jason counts as a girl. Maybe James goes by hair. Jonathan asks Eliza how she is, and she tells him she's very happy to be "given new life by this switch-up." He tells her that while their beach sucks, their tribe is better. Eliza interviews that she's done with "fans versus favorites," and as far as she's concerned, she and Jonathan intend to align themselves with the fans to boot off Parvati and James, and she wants to get on with it before the couples can get back together at a merge. There you go. I'm telling you, that girl is not to be trifled with. She kind of reminds me of the rugby player in The Replacements: "I'm wiry!"

Jeff welcomes everyone to the immunity challenge. As he walks to the mat, Jonathan is holding his leg straight, trying unsuccessfully not to draw attention to it. Airai learns that Joel was booted, and Alexis openly beams. In fact, just about everybody openly beams. That's gotta hurt Joel, as he's sitting at home preparing for his next mastodon hunt. Jeff explains that in this challenge, each tribe will swim out and collect bundles of planks, ropes, and sticks. When they have all the stuff on shore, they'll have ten minutes to create a "blockade" inside an empty cage. So, you know, make it very hard to crawl from one end of the cage to the other by sticking stuff through it. Is this making sense? Okay. Each tribe will then have to crawl all the team members from one end of the cage (that the other tribe blockaded) to the other by tearing down and/or going around the blockade. The reward for the winner will be two native Micronesians! In a can! Just add water! Okay, not really, but that is totally how Jeff makes it sound. In reality, the two native Micronesians will come and visit the winning tribe and give them all kinds of pointers. "If you pay attention, it will change camp life," Jeff vows. He adds that the winners will also send one member of the other tribe and one member of their own tribe to go to Exile Island. Airai has to sit someone out, and after Jonathan says he thinks he can help with this one, they sit out Natalie. It makes sense; they'd much rather be able to sit him out at the immunity challenge if they need to, and for once, a tribe is actually being patient in that regard.

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