Survivor

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The Rise of Randy

Sugar reports to Exile and heads for the Comfort Hut, which she calls her "Sugar Shack," and enjoys herself. And giggles. She tells us she's hoping Fang will lose and vote out Kelly, and then she can be with Ace. In a minority alliance. Great thinking, sister. Sugar does not sing any spirituals during her stay this time, which means I cannot incorrectly attribute them to her like I did last week.

Fang arrives at their camp. GC tells us this tribe switch will work out just fine for him and has put him in a great position. Well, hopefully a greater position than six. Ace gets right to bossing everyone around, saying ginger makes a great seasoning for rice. Crystal says they can't find ginger. Ace says he'll show them some, and the old Fang cheers. So while he apparently goes off to do that, Ken gets the dirt on the inner workings of the old Kota from the ladies. He says they all seemed to get along. Jacquie agrees, but Kelly has a different opinion. "It was always me and Paloma," she says. "I didn't think there was any rift," Jacquie says. "You guys didn't really invite anybody else with you guys wherever you went," Kelly says, showing that the Onion Alliance wasn't as good at keeping things secret as they thought.

Crystal tells us that after listening to Kelly, she's figured out that Kelly was an outcast in Kota. I think I could have figured that out when she was ranked last (like Ken did), but whatever, Crystal. "Maybe she really does belong with Fang," Crystal says. If I were Jacquie, I'd be working my butt off to join with the old Fang and align against Kelly before she got them to align against me. But Kelly's back at camp, telling GC she was counting down the days and hours (until she got voted off?) while Crystal whispers to Ken that Kelly doesn't like Ace or Jacquie. "I already know all this," Crystal says. Ken just nods. He knew it before any of them did. Meanwhile, Kelly shows us all why no one likes her by talking like a Valley Girl and saying that, as a salesperson, she can get along with anyone and change her personality, "like, act like something? Sometimes?" But with Kota, she couldn't even do that. Hmm... when it's you against a bunch of people, Kelly, you may want to ask yourself if the problem is all of them or you. Kelly says she's happy to join up with Fang (which she pronounces incorrectly -- or is that prounces?) and vote out her old Kota tribe members. "They didn't even give me a chance," she says, as if her unpleasant personality and attitude problem had nothing to do with this. Also, she insists on calling GC "G-Sizzle." Crystal pries more information out of Kelly, asking what's up with Jacquie. Hilariously, Kelly says "what you see is what you get," and she's all about saying "cool!" and "awesome!" and "what's up!" which is how I'd describe Kelly more than Jacquie. Crystal says it seems like Ace and Jacquie are friendly as the cameraman practically rams the camera down her throat. Step back, guy. "At night they sleep together. But he also sleeps with Sugar," Kelly says. Yes, well, they're all in one hut. They all sleep together. Kelly says she's all about joining their side. "Cha-ching!" GC says. Ken tells Kelly that they'll take care of her. "I'm so happy that I get to, like, talk, and you guys, like, talk back," Kelly says, as Ken looks kind of bummed out that having to interact with Kelly is part of the deal.

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Survivor

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