Over at Saboga, Rupert is taking charge of the building. Because that went well last time, so why not keep it up? Maybe this time, he can build a boat that appears to sink immediately, but is secretly incredibly well-conceived, because after all, he's been building rafts for twenty years. His idea is to build a boat with "outriggers." Yes -- broad, with lots of appendages for extra drag -- that's the key to real speed. Jerri interviews: "Apparently, we're building a pontoon boat." She allows, however, that it might be more of a catamaran. Hee. Basically, the raft that Ethan and Rupert wind up constructing is very sturdy and very wide. Built for stability, yes. Capable of hosting a well-attended margarita happy hour, yes. But not really all that much for speed. They test out the raft, and it does at least appear to float. "I feel very good about the raft," Rupert interviews with a proud grin. "I'm trying not to think about the house. I got my reputation riding on this damn thing again." Wow, I sure hope it works, or people might start to think he's a giant preening idiot, kind of like I've always said. I'd hate to see that happen, because God knows, I hate to be right. "We came up with a good design...with four paddles, we should be able to fly," Rupert says. "We want to win." Well, with their unique brand of leadership and plucky, can-do Yankee craftsmanship, I can't imagine that will be a problem.
Mogo Mogo. The sturdier folks carry the bamboo out of the jungle and to the beach. They start off discussing whether it's worth the effort to cut the bamboo shorter for more specialized use in the raft, and all are leaning toward keeping the bamboo at full length, simply because it's "too much energy to cut it down," as Kathy says. Hatch comes up with the idea of using the tied bundles of bamboo essentially as they are, to build the world's simplest raft. And in the end, that's what they do, creating a long, narrow bullet of bamboo that floats. Colby explains the challenge and the difficulty that the raft will face: "It's gotta carry 260 pounds-a-Hatch." And that's exactly how he says it. "Pounds-a-hatch." Colby and his big hat want you to know, however, that you should not be too impressed with their grasp of physics, because "laziness and pure exhaustion" dictated the way the raft was ultimately built. "The raft will definitely float," Hatch says knowingly, "but it won't be swift. It will not be swift." You know, almost like this show is just a bunch of arrogant assholes learning that they're not as smart as they think they are. And people wonder why there's an audience for it.