Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 574 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Scrambled Dudes

Aaaand...Ouch Camp! Here comes Team Dude, ready to take a big swig of Schadenfreude Cocktail, courtesy of Rocky. They do have a basket of food as well, so these guys are not going to experience the actual Ravu lifestyle. Edgardo tries for a pep talk, saying that they may have the bad camp, but that they'll be way better in challenges. They all put their hands in and give themselves a cheer. "Ravu men!" they cheer. "Ravu men!" It turns out that they have fishing gear also, so...once again, this is only semi-Ouch now. In an interview, Alex says that he had a strong alliance with Boo, Stacy, and Lisi (he doesn't, interestingly, mention Edgardo), but that "the girls were difficult to predict," and he wasn't sure about Boo, so this is actually fine. All dudes! No ladies! Better that way! Chicks is crazy! Alex gives the tribe a speech about how he's "glad that there are no women here." Harder to get arrested, for one thing. He talks about how, with women, it's all politics, it's such a pain...come to think of it, that's probably why past winners like Yul stayed away from alliances with women.

Anthony squirms a bit as all the guys prattle on about how funny it is that all the people voted off have been women and so forth. Edgardo just wants to bitch more about the long-departed Sylvia. Is that really necessary? I mean...she's gone. She's off doing architectural things, she's not going to be on the jury, she's not standing between you and a million dollars...maybe find something else to talk about. Here, Rocky cements his place in history by saying he's just happy to be with "the boys," immediately pointing out that it's "no offense." And then he uncorks this: "I love women, I love 'em. I love to touch 'em and make out, and have conversations with 'em, get along with 'em. But you know, in this type of environment, this type of game, you don't need any stupid, like, girl stories. Or distractions. Or any stupid things like that." Wow. I think he has just set a world record for heterosexuality. He really does love women. It's always the ones who tell you how much they love the ladies who love the ladies the most. Because nothing says "I love the ladies" like endless repetitions of "I love the ladies." In fact, if you are a man and you read this paragraph out loud, you will be 50% more heterosexual than you are right now. Just a piece of trivia. Alex follows up with a quote from The Count Of Monte Cristo, but I totally don't care enough to transcribe it. The quote might as well be "I am a huge dork," because that is the information it imparts. He is a dork, as well as a wad of various sorts. They talk about speaking this quote before challenges, and then somebody says they "won't get laid for a freaking year." That part I agree with, but it's too bad that they're going to blame the quote, which is innocent.

Survivor

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