I've Got Strength Now To Carry The Flag

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 2 USERS: C
Scrambled Dudes

So. Lisi is the "odd person out," but Jeff immediately explains that she's still in the game. "Aw, jeez," she says. She laughs her ant-hammer laugh. Jeff asks if she was worried, and she suggests that, on the contrary, she thought it might be "a good time to exit." Jeff points out that she just told her tribe she didn't mind being booted. She says no, she's just saying that part of her just wanted to wish them well and bail. She has people at home to treat like shit, of course, and they probably miss her. She is, however, going to Exile Island, where she will become one with the snakes. Hammer that, bitch. Jeff tells her maybe the time alone will clear her head and make her not act like such a crybaby quitter. How much of a wimp do you have to be to bitch about wanting to go home when you've spent the first two weeks at Couch Camp? Can you imagine how quickly she would have wanted to quit if she'd been playing real Survivor? I guess she's never done anything incredibly strenuous, like...go camping. Seriously, she was practically allowed to live at the REI store, so what's she complaining about? At any rate, Jeff says that Lisi does have an advantage in that she won't go to tribal council, no matter what, because she's skipping it. She'll join whichever tribe votes someone off, and she'll have a clue to the hidden idol. She waves halfheartedly and heads off to the island, convinced that someone here is going to feel sorry for her, on account of the fact that she's about to spend her first night of discomfort since the season started.

Jeff says all that's left now is to decide who lives at Couch Camp and who lives at Ouch Camp. As you can imagine, this question draws a great deal of interest. Edgardo and Earl are pulled out of line again, and they're told to rock-paper-scissors it for who gets to pull one of two buffs out of a bag. If whoever it is pulls the green buff, he'll go to Couch Camp. Pull the orange buff, he'll go to Ouch Camp. Edgardo's paper covers Earl's rock, so Edgardo gets to pick. The stakes are these: if he picks green, then he and All The Young Dudes are taking Couch Camp, and Yau Man, Michelle, and Earl are going back to Ouch Camp, leaving the rest of us only the satisfaction of knowing that Stacy and Boo will go with them. Do you know what outcome you're rooting for? I do. And Edgardo! Ha ha ha! The dancing begins at new Moto, as well as in my living room. And Rocky? Oh, Rocky's going back to Ouch. No hammock for you, Boston Knob (tm my pal JWB). Jeff says that both tribes will get a "housewarming gift" back at camp, meaning that even Ouch Camp is going to be made less Ouchy. He also reminds them that if you've been to Exile Island, the clues are "still in play." Edgardo pulls the Ravu flag out of the ground, and the newly constituted tribes head home.

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