Alicia then babbles something about not knowing who to trust. Remember when it seemed like Alicia was Head Bitch of the girls' tribe? Until everyone realized she was heinous and got over her? That was fun. Jeff then goes to Tarzan, so this should kill some time with inanity. In classic Tarzan style, the actual content of what he says is true -- nobody's going to tell Jeff the truth while they're juggling multiple alliances, which is why they all clammed up -- but he delivers it in such a cock-eyed manner that you just assume he's a nutbar. Also, he keeps saying "the game is afoot," which makes it seem like he's doing dinner-theater Sherlock Holmes. "You're being played!" he concludes, which gets a look of smug amusement from Jeff and a lot of condescending laughter from the tribe. Jeff tsk-tsks them for laughing when SO MUCH is on the line tonight. Kat, making me like her, basically tells Jeff to calm down, as laughing at Tarzan and his "rantics" is pretty much the only sane way to deal with him. They refer to these "rantics" as getting "Tarzanned." Which seems about right.
Mike gets one more moment in the spotlight to talk about his awesome truthfulness and how he believes everybody in camp is lying and scrambling except for the people he's with. I'm also very glad to report that I only just now realized how much Mike resembled Bill and Barb Henrickson's oldest son from Big Love. Thank God I won't have very long to dwell on it, because it's votin' time! We are not made privy to anybody's votes, which keeps the suspense alive. And even as Jeff begins to read them, it seems like anybody's game: two votes for Christina, two for Tarzan, two for Mike. But then there's a third vote for Mike. And then I spot his adult braces. It's all gone wrong for Mike at once! The rest of the votes are for Mike and at the last one, he kind of raises his eyebrows in exasperation, like, "Whatever, if you guys want to be STUPID about it." Boring and entitled. Not gonna miss him.
Jeff then tries to do his little Final Thought, which is as off-base this week as it usually is. He tries to sell three people getting votes as cause for much tribal unrest, because he's too stupid to realize that Alicia and Christina's votes for Tarzan were likely completely strategic and designed to throw folks like Troyzan and Jay off the scent of an all-girls alliance. Far more significant to me is when we find out over the credits that Jay voted for Mike (the second Christina vote came from Tarzan, likely because nobody wanted to chance letting Tarzan in on the real plan). I would be VERY interested to see how Kim swung Jay's vote. Alas, I guess we needed more time for Tarzan's Plastic Surgery Intervention.