Survivor

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Li'l Russell Island

Probst returns with the urn and a broken heart. Sure enough, Li'l Russell gets the majority of the vote (although this time, THREE of them voted for "Russel." They have to be doing this on purpose, right?) and the alliance of six HEROES grin away as Li'l Russell gets his torch and heads for Probst. "I'll be back and be ready," Li'l Russell promises them. Stephanie smiles at Li'l Russell adoringly, because it's great Survivor strategy to kiss the ass of the guy the rest of your tribe hates and just voted out. "I'll be ready," ALF says. Probst snuffs Li'l Russell's torch, but the moment that should be such a happy and long-awaited one for me is tarnished when Probst reminds us that Li'l Russell is going to Redemption Island so I'll still have to see him again. And again. And again. As he heads out, Stephanie turns to Julie and dramatically mutters "storm's a coming." Julie manages not to laugh in her face. Probst says Zapato just voted out "one of the most successful players in the history of Survivor," and wonders if that decision will bite them in the ass. I wonder how we can call someone who has never won this game despite all the advantages the producers threw his way and the fact that the second time he played he went to the Final Three with two previous winners and STILL didn't get any votes "successful."

You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.

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Survivor

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