Survivor

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Li'l Russell Island

But that's not all! For over at Zapato, treemail tells them to choose two people to watch what happens "at a place which you don't want to be." Obviously, that's Redemption Island. The instructions say they have to pick rocks from a bag if they are unable to make a unanimous decision, and apparently that's what happened because the next thing we know, they're all picking rocks. David and Steve get the winning rocks and are happy that they get to go and not Li'l Russell or one of the girls in his alliance, who, it seems, have stupidly made it obvious to all that they are aligned with the tribe pariah. Onomatopoeia also pick rocks, and Ashley and Andrea win a trip to Redemption Island. Andrea is very happy about this, because she gets to see Matt again and hopefully get tell him that she had nothing to do with his boot so they can align again if he returns to the game. Rob is not pleased, and hopes Andrea doesn't "get smart" and try to talk to her "island boyfriend." Oh come on, Rob. Matt was voted out. Yeah, he's on Redemption Island so there's a slight chance he can come back. And then, if Andrea is even still around, maybe they'll align again and be two against a majority. That doesn't seem very scary to me. I think Rob just doesn't want anyone else to steal his and Amber's favorite Survivor couple award.

Dramatic music plays us into the ridiculous Redemption Island Arena. Probst calls Matt and Francesca in and points out that Steve and David, who they barely know, and Ashley and Andrea, who voted them out, are here to watch. Andrea quickly points out that she didn't vote for Matt or Francesca. Uh oh!!! This is Rob's WORST NIGHTMARE. Now Andrea will win this game for sure! Probst asks how Matt is feeling. Matt says he's hoping to win this competition and all the others so he can make it back in the game. Francesca basically says the same thing. Why did Probst even ask? It's not like either of them was going to say, "I want to lose. Being the first person to leave this game is so awesome." Probst explains the challenge: Francesca and Matt will be stuck behind a locked gate with only rope and sticks to construct a pole that will retrieve three key rings hanging out of arm's reach beyond the gate. They must then use those keys to unlock the gate. The first person to go through his gate stays on Redemption Island. The loser leaves for good.

I'm happy to see that they didn't do an entirely strength-based challenge, although this one does favor the person with long arms, who, in this case, I'm assuming is Matt. But I guess they're trying to get all of their tall people favored challenges out of the way now before Li'l Russell arrives. Because you know that every challenge when he's there will be planned so that a short, fat, bald asshole has a distinct advantage. Probst says a weak "go" that lacks the volume and enthusiasm of his usual challenge beginning cries because Redemption Island is a solemn place. Matt and Francesca get to work. "Good old fashioned Survivor challenge: sticks and rope. And locks," Probst says, apparently forgetting how lame those early challenges used to be. Like the Blair Witch one, a good old fashioned Survivor challenge with stories and video cameras. And Rudy.

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Survivor

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