Survivor
Kill Or Be Killed

Episode Report Card
Kim: A+ | 1 USERS: B
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Strength vs. Loyalty

As usual, we open right after the Tribal Council where the Fans voted out Hope, leaving Reynold and Eddie with none. No hope, get it? Eddie starts yelling at everyone because they said they wanted the strongest team possible and yet Laura is still there. At least I think he pointed to Laura. It's tough to tell in night vision. Eddie interviews that they got rid of Hope because she's the prettiest one there. Yeah, Eddie. That's exactly why they voted her out. It has nothing to do with her alliance with you and Reynold. You dummy.

Then Reynold calls Laura out for tricking him into voting for Shamar. Wasn't he already going to vote for Shamar? All Laura did was give him hope and keep him from making another play. Everyone else points out that Reynold's just mad because he got played, which is totally true. Reynold basically says, "Fuck y'all." Keep that in mind for the future.

The next morning, Phillip is still keeping his whole "Spy Team" thing going. He explains that Napoleon, when going to Waterloo, couldn't pay his troops so he gave them titles. First of all, Napoleon was defeated at Waterloo, so bad example. And second, giving someone a title instead of a raise is the shittiest kind of corporate bullshit, and anyone who falls for it deserves what they get.

Anyway, Phillip has decided to give Brandon a title so that he thinks he's part of the group even though Brandon isn't part of the group. Phillip takes him into the jungle and welcomes him to "Stealth R Us" and Brandon asks like he just got into the National Honor Society. Anyway, his spy name is The Conqueror, due to his challenge performances. Brandon interviews that Phillip is a terrible agent (duh) because he doesn't know that Brandon is totally lying to him. Phillip gives Erik the name "The Silent One" (come on, he's not even trying).

Okay, so you may be thinking this whole naming business is ridonk, but Phillip's the only one who takes it seriously so who cares? Except then Andrea interviews that she was okay with giving Brandon a name, although she wishes Phillip had checked with her first, but then he gave Erik a name, and she wonders if he's going to give Brenda a name too! How dare he! Give out stupid names for his fake alliance? It just devalues Andrea's stupid name for her fake alliance. Gah, she is dumb. So then Phillip gives Brenda a name and tells her the names of everyone else in the tribe, and her name is "Serenity" which doesn't even make sense. But whatever. I don't care about Phillip's fake names other than they are slightly amusing and they make everyone else look dumb.

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