Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
Chocolate Lovers

Jerri's nose isn't bleeding, so the unnecessary roughness is allowed to continue. Whoever scores the next point is the winner. This time, the Villains start off strong, getting all three balls and even a rebound from one of the Heroes' shots, thanks to Danielle, who actually did something. Rob has a good shot, but J.T. cleverly uses his ball to knock Rob's ball off its path. Rob then does the same to J.T.'s shot. In the end, it's JERRI who gets the second and final point for the Villains with an amazing shot. Like, she threw that ball in a perfect spiral and it came down right into the net while Rupert watched helplessly. The only way that could have been better is if she'd managed to make the ball spell out "fuck you, Rupert," as it sailed through the air. The Villains' chocolate-loving ladies cheer her on from the sidelines. Even Courtney, who hasn't eaten chocolate (or anything else, for that matter) in 20 years! The women are so happy that even Sandra gives Parvati and Courtney a hug, and Sandra hates everyone! What a wonderful moment for women everywhere, with all three points scored coming from either a woman or Tyson, who is pretty much the same thing. Probst sends everyone away except for James, who gets a second look from the doctors.

After the break, Dr. Claudia wraps James's leg while saying that she's worried that he might have stretched something too much to be able to walk and thus continue in the game. She's going to stick James in a brace and see how he does.

What a bummer! Let's check in on the chocolate fest instead! Sure enough, there is a ton of chocolate on a table waiting for the Villains. Haven't they got to be craving, like, burgers? I love chocolate too, but I think this much on such an empty stomach would just make me sick. Plus if it doesn't come with a glass of milk (not chocolate milk, just regular white milk please) then it's like torture. OH! It turns out that it does, indeed, come with big pitchers of milk. Clearly, there is a woman (who does not suffer from the heartbreak of lactose intolerance) on the reward team this season. Or a small child. Whatever. Li'l Russell says he's doubly glad because not only does he get chocolate, but also James might be out of the game permanently. Pretty soon, though, the reward turns to sadness as everyone feels sick from too much chocolate. Jerri says this is the most chocolate she's ever eaten in one sitting. I wish I could say the same, but the fact is that one time I ate almost an entire Entenmanns Chocolate Fudge Cake in one sitting. The Villains go swimming to work off some of that sugar in this, like, incredible body of water that's basically a sunken hole in the middle of the ground. I think it's called the To Sua Sea Trench? It looks amazing, but I would never go there. It was formed from volcanic activity, and I am afraid of volcanoes. Since Li'l Russell (or, as Tyson calls him, "whatever his name is") and his ally Parvati are still eating chocolate, the talk in the cove turns to the idol and how Li'l Russell must surely have it by now. Rob interviews that he has every intention of getting rid of Li'l Russell and especially his idol ASAP. Good.

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