Survivor

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Chocolate Lovers

Ah, but, of course, James returns. As ridiculously over-the-top HEROIC music blares on the soundtrack, he hobbles up the beach with a giant brace on his leg. Amanda runs to greet him in the most girlish way possible. "James is back and I'm so happy!" she interviews. "Yaaaaay!" Rupert says, sounding retarded. I know I shouldn't say that, but I'm not a talented enough writer to think of another word that accurately describes how he just said "YAAAAY!" Twice. He said it that way twice. Oh no, wait -- three times. There's ... there's just no other word for it. James says the awesome Survivor doctors don't know exactly what's wrong with his knee, other than "it's not working." He says the knee "don't hurt," but can't really support his weight. Amanda asks if it's broken. Oh come on, Amanda. If it was broken IT WOULD HURT. Also, I don't think it's even possible to break your knee by landing on it funny with no outside force acting on it. Basically, James needs an MRI to find out what's really going on in his knee, but that would mean leaving the show. He lies down in the shelter as Candice interviews that if they lose the next immunity challenge, she thinks James should be voted out.

Suddenly, we're at the immunity challenge. The chocolate-filled Villains watch the loser Heroes with limpin' James file in. Probst asks Douche for his opinion on seeing that James is still in the game. Douche says he's happy, because he wants to defeat his "worthy competitors" fair and square, not through injury. Of course. Probst then explains the immunity challenge, which was last played in Season 8. Tyson and invisible Danielle sit out for the Villains, and Jerri and James will be doing the calling for their respective tribes. I think this is the third time Jerri has been the caller at this kind of challenge, where she's had varying degrees of success. But at least she has experience. Probst makes a big deal out of the fact that James has to be the caller for his tribe because his leg won't let him do much else. Also, the course has a bunch of waist high barrels all over the place, just to make it extra likely that the blindfolded contestants will walk into them in comedic fashion. This happens pretty quickly from the start, as James directs J.T. right into a barrel. Then James screams at Rupert. He has the most unpleasant screaming voice I've ever heard. Douche and Sandra manage to get their tribe's first piece, while J.T. and Rob attempt to pick up one of the Heroes' pieces at the same time as their partners, Amanda and Courtney, go for the Villains' piece. Well, Amanda does. Courtney just kind of stands there, occasionally feeling Amanda up. Jerri tells Rob to drop the piece as Probst laughs. Li'l Russell and Parvati, meanwhile, also get a piece. It would seem that the Villains are ahead once again, but then Rupert and Candice and Tom and Colby manage to get pieces. J.T., meanwhile, falls over a piece. Douche and Sandra make their way towards their second piece. Rob once again has some tribe piece confusion and almost picks up another one of the Heroes' pieces. J.T. and Amanda have the same problem. They stumble around blindly while Rob somehow hurts himself as he and Courtney carry another piece back to the mat. He heads back out, only to slam into a piece that Tom and Colby are trying to carry back. That looked painful. At one point, all of the Heroes pairs are stuck out on the field, waving and calling for James to direct them. He screams at them to "shut up and stop!" because that's pretty much all James says during challenges.

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Survivor

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