Survivor

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The Sandy Show

The Jalapeños hike. Mactor 2 is holding all of one watermelon. He complains that it's heavy. Taj says she's looking forward to losing her baby weight. A dippy white girl off-camera feels her flava and says "I got you, girl!" Embarrassing. Spencer is a nineteen-year-old student and proud to be the youngest ever contestant on this show. Ugh, why are we letting children on the show now? This isn't The Real World. Lame. Spencer's a big fan of the show, but not of four hour long hikes.

Jalapeño soon gets lost and Mactor 2, whose name is actually JT and is a cattle rancher, steps up to help them out even though squeaky-voiced Carolina was doing such an awesome job of it already with tips like "remember, the compass always face [sic] north!" JT says he's used to hot weather and knows how to catch fish and read maps. He also knows that that makes him a target. Meanwhile, Stephen has somehow managed to rip his pants already. He says he doesn't think he'll get along too well with JT, the good old-fashioned Southern boy. Yeah, Stephen, you could have formed some kind of weak people alliance with Sandy until you pissed her off. Idiot. Stephen describes himself as an "anxious New York Jew." Thanks for casting another stereotype, Survivor. The group sets off again, and bond by making jokes at Sandy's expense, giving her the nickname Psycho Sandy.

Tempura is also having trouble, mostly because they have so many supplies to carry. But they've cleverly managed to use the long poles and rope to construct carrying devices to help them. That doesn't stop Erinn from complaining, though. She says she hasn't done much camping in her life. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? If you don't like being outdoors, don't go on this show, idiot. She and the Other Blonde need to rest, and it looks like Douche, for all his talk about strong contestants, isn't even carrying anything. Brandon asks Jerry what he does to work out, and Jerry says he eats potato chips and sometimes goes to the gym. Then Jerry tells us that he's actually in the National Guard and just returned from serving in Afghanistan. He's used to commanding a hundred men, but knows that his fellow contestants have their own individual minds that haven't been brainwashed by the military so he'll have to be low-key and not try to take charge. Jerry is smart. Douche is not, so he immediately grabs the compass and starts directing everyone to the new camp. In yet another interview, he tells us he's a "Renaissance Man," but I don't think the Renaissance Age had many soccer coaches. Oh, but he's also a conductor of a symphony, who he probably makes call him "Maestro." He pats himself on the back that as a coach, he's a natural leader who can get the best out of everyone. Until they all vote him out for being a douche.

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Survivor

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