Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
The Sandy Show

Douche pulls Brandon aside and says he's going to change this game from being about the survival of the weakest to the survival of the Douche, and he wants Brandon to help him with that. Then he drops some history on us, saying that the American Indians, Vikings, Klingons, and Samurai warriors all wanted their opponents to be worthy and strong so they could die with honor or whatever. And those groups are flourishing today, right, Douche? Douche tells Brandon that he might have put himself in danger by letting Brandon know about his plan, but that's how badly he wants to change the game. Does Douche really think that he's included in the list of the physically strongest people out here? Because I'd put JT, Mactor 1, Brandon, Tyson, and possibly even Jerry and Spencer above him. By the way, in his bio he says he's been bitten by a tiger shark, stalked by a jaguar, and bitten by a piranha as if these are things to be proud of and not signs that you're getting way too close to wildlife you have no clue how to handle.

Meanwhile, Brandon shows us that intelligence is just as important in this game as physical strength, if not more so, when he says that Douche's little talk sent up all kinds of red flags, he doesn't trust Douche, and he doesn't want a coach around camp, nor, he thinks, will anyone else. Ha ha! Please don't let me down, Brandon. Get rid of Douche ASAP! With that, Tempura set off again.

Sandy and Sierra helicopter over to their camps. Sandy says she couldn't take in too much of the Brazilian beauty because she was still pissed off that her tribe wanted to vote her out. Well, what did she expect? If you're an older woman on this show, people will perceive you as weak right off the bat, especially if you scowl and bug your eyes out all the time. Sandy takes a moment to get emotional about everything, but not so much so that she can't voice her inner monologue. I have a feeling she's going to be doing that a lot. She's more determined than ever to make it until the end, and says one advantage to being older is that she's also wiser. Yes. We'll see just how wise as the episode goes on.

After the break, Sandy manages to find a clue. The fact that she even found that in the first place is kind of amazing considering how well she does with subsequent clues as the episode goes on. She's seen enough episodes of this show to know that this is a clue to an immunity idol. She reads it super-dramatically, even striking an emotional pose when she reads the part about how her tribe tried to leave her behind. Oh, Sandy. If only you were born a century ago, what an amazing career in silent movies you could have had! Sandy also reads her tribe name as "JalapeƱo," commenting "oh, I don't know how to say that, whatever," which is great. Don't buy into the quasi-native tribe names, Sandy! Anyway, the clue says that she can give up on the idol in order to set up camp and show her tribe that she's worthy of keeping around, or look for the idol and save herself at the first tribal council. Sandy immediately chooses the idol, which is probably a good idea. Hell, she's got four hours and the first clue is pretty easy. She probably has plenty of time to do both. But if not, she needs the idol. If they're calling her "Psycho Sandy" already, so she's toast even if she builds them a shelter worthy of Gilligan's Island. Sandy gets to digging.

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