Credits. I see dead skeletons.

On Day 9, it's another beautiful morning at Moto, where every morning is beautiful and every reality-show premise is watered down. Lisi and Stacy swim around in the water like the spoiled guppies they are, and Stacy gasses on about how beautiful it is over here at Couch Camp. Lisi brags about how great Moto is and how great they're doing, not that her challenge-skipping ass has had much to do with the winning streak. Lisi introduces a new plotline when she interviews that there's a "bond" between her, Stacy, Boo, Alex, and Edgardo. So that would be a majority, with the outsiders being Gary, "Dreamz," Cassandra, and Liliana (who actually exists, as you may have heard). Lisi says it's "almost been unspoken," which is weird, since we just saw her refer to "the five musketeers" while talking to Stacy. I'm not sure she knows what "unspoken" means, which wouldn't be surprising, since "compassion" and "class" and some other things also seem to be foreign concepts. Lisi says that the five of them "come together" in this beautiful -- and presumably self-preserving -- way. You can tell this is an alliance that has gone completely untested to this point, because that's the only time people talk about an alliance like this, like they're in the reality-show version of Hoosiers. It's all fine right up until you have to actually do something. Out in the water, Stacy talks about how Ravu must be doing really poorly, and Lisi's all cocky with her take-no-prisoners "whatever," as if -- again -- she's been any part of the reason Moto is dominating. I think her best contribution has been her willingness to sit out without complaint.

And now, we check in on Gary, who was not doing so well last week, what with the chest pains and the weakness and the dizziness. But what's the worst thing that could happen, right? Anyway, he is not doing so well again, and Cassandra is still the only one who gives enough of a damn to check up on him as he slumps on the couch. (Not a lot of "on the couch" sentences in your usual Survivor recap, huh?) Gary tells Cassandra that his breathing is still difficult, and that his head still feels crazy: "I can't continue with my head like this." He tells her that he feels like he's "just twirling all the time," and not in the good, happy, "I Feel Pretty" kind of way, either. As we glance at Gary's horrifically bug-bitten leg, he tells us that he's done some very unpleasant things, including duty in Vietnam, and that nothing was quite like this. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean that the way it...sort of sounded. He does maintain that the spinning head is just terrible, and he and Cassandra discuss the fact that he clearly can't go on like this indefinitely. Cassandra interviews that Gary should take it easy, considering his age, and his stress, and other possible factors, because nobody wants him to give his life in the service of immunity challenges. We look at Gary's horrible leg, which is just covered -- as in covered -- in bites. Like, if a bug wanted to bite him, that bug would wind up biting another bite. Lisi talks to him about how he's "got thousands of [bites]." She interviews that Gary "doesn't look good at all," and just when you think she might express concern, she makes it all about herself, explaining that the reason she finds this a drag is not that there's this clearly ailing older gentleman who might be in danger, but that the rest of the tribe has to take time out of its incredibly busy lying-around schedule (seriously, think about it: being on Moto has to be the LEAST time-consuming thing any person has ever done, short of being Hugh Hefner's girlfriend) to "babysit" him. She's not interested in "babysitting." She bitches that this is like waking up and finding that you have a baby, but it seems to me that it's actually like...showing concern for a sick person. Is this her first time? She actually says, "I don't want to babysit, so let's hope he gets better." Yes, that's it exactly. Gary should hurry up and get well, because Lisi doesn't want to have to take care of his sorry ass. He is so unreasonable.