Let's Just Call Jeff On The Jeff Phone

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!

Previously on Oiled Up And Ready To Go, But Not In A Dirty Way: Ravu was still losing, and it seemed like it had to be partly because the entire tribe was so dehydrated that they qualified as dried fruits. But then they made a fire and started drinking water and were presumably reconstituted, but they just kept losing, so maybe the lack of water wasn't the problem so much as the abundance of suck. Gary fell hard at the reward challenge, and it seemed like maybe that was why he was seriously hurting later, and the medics didn't find anything urgent, so he stayed around. SO FAR. When Ravu couldn't scarf worms fast enough and lost the immunity challenge as well, Sylvia realized that it was time to come up with the immunity idol or face the boot. She didn't come up with an opportunity to hunt for the idol, despite knowing where it was, because she didn't want to...tip her hand? Lest she...stop herself from winning from the Loser's Lodge? So she finally ran out of luck and went home to her orthogonal home. There are now sixteen people left. Who will be voted out or medically evacuated...tonight?

On Night 8, after kicking off its third person in a row, Ravu returns from tribal council still in a foul mood. Anthony, of course, was recreationally picked on as a tangential part of the booting of Sylvia, so he's undoubtedly not feeling too comfortable. Earl announces that they're going to have some kind of a big talk about things, which immediately strikes me as a powerfully bad idea. You should only air grievances when they're going to be sensible. There's no reason to encourage bullies and their targets to fight. Earl thinks that they should "get it all out." He interviews that he wanted to air all the personality conflicts, and my reaction, as I say, is...why? Honesty of the "I can't stand you" variety is really, really overrated, especially when all you have to do is function. It's not a family; it's not thirtysomething; you don't have to heal wounds. Earl tries to get Rocky involved, and Rocky initially makes a brief stab at staying above the fray, saying that he doesn't "want to be involved in bitching and moaning." He leaves off the words "to people's faces." It doesn't take long for Rocky to change his mind, though, so he starts complaining that Anthony...well, complains. This is the kind of lesson for which Tom Lehrer should have composed a little ditty about irony. In an interview, Rocky tells us just how hard it is to want to insult people and have to hold back because they might vote against you if you don't keep your feelings to yourself. I don't know about you, but I really feel sorry for him. We return to the Fireside Chat of Hate, where Rocky tells Anthony that he's generally irritating, and actually claims that Anthony intentionally goes out of his way to be irritating. If you consider the remainder of this episode, you will find the accusations of intentional provocation kind of funny. "I don't usually deal with people like that unless it's a broad," Rocky declares. And then he turns and says, "No offense to the ladies; it's how I talk to girls." Hey, Rocky, none taken! We're not like those "un-fun" girls. We know that our breasts and hormones make us hard for you to take. We only hope that the fact that we are smooth-skinned and can bake cookies might make up for it. He goes on to say that he doesn't listen to the kind of talk he thinks Anthony engages in -- which is, again, kind of unspecified -- unless it's "a girl," his mother, or his "crazy aunt." I'm sure all the aunts appreciate his assertion that Rocky goes on to talk with utter disgust about Anthony "whining" or becoming "sentimental," and announces that Anthony should be acting like "a man," and not like whatever he's acting like. I'll tell you, nothing announces that you are completely confident in your manhood quite like lecturing other men on how men should behave, as if you are nervous that men who are not adequately manly might suddenly become women. NOT THAT YOU WORRY THAT THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU.

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