Like a Wide-Eyed Kid in a Candy Store

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
Erik and Ozzy, Sittin' In a Tree

Malakal gets their money stones first, and Erik, Cirie, and Ozzy are the solvers. Airai isn't too far behind, with Eliza, Kathy, and James doing the puzzle for them. Probst rather annoyingly narrates that the pieces might look like they're right but still be wrong and the puzzle is "trial and error." James tries forcing a piece in with his fist. "Not making much progress," Probst informs them. Malakal, however, makes a lot -- and wins the reward. They hug and jump up and down in victory -- until Probst tells them one of them has to go to Exile Island and miss the reward. That really sucks. I mean, it really does. And then it sucks even more that Tracy ends up having to go to Exile Island, with Ozzy telling her to "take one for the team." She agrees to it, because she doesn't really have a choice. No one else on the team is going to volunteer to go to Exile Island, that's for sure. She'll be joined by Jason, and I hope Malakal can at least bring some shampoo and snacks back to camp for her. Although I doubt they'd even think to ask.

Malakal-minus-Tracy get to their reward spot, and Erik is overjoyed to see cookies among the snacks waiting for them. Ozzy tells us it was great that Erik finally got to experience a reward for the first time. Boy, I'll bet Tracy would've loved to see a reward for the first time, too. I really think Ozzy should have been the one to go to Exile Island, if only because he has the least hair and is therefore in the least amount of discomfort. Ultimately, though, no one should have had to give up the reward. Malakal won, the entire tribe participated in that win, and therefore the entire tribe should get to partake of the reward. Boo, Survivor! Ozzy says he's happy that they could win and "bring [Erik] in" to experience a reward. Um, I'm pretty sure Erik had just as much to do with the win as you did, Ozzy. So did Tracy. Ozzy is an asshole this week. Amanda and Ozzy head for the shower, and soon get Ami to join them. They all do their own versions of the Herbal Essences commercial and then things get a bit naughty, as Ami and Amanda remove their tops. Cirie and Erik look on, and Cirie is bemused while Erik is probably super-jealous. Of Ami and Amanda. Cirie says she looked over and saw a "couple pair of boobs and Ozzy's head smack dab in the middle." Now, why didn't that get the episode-title-quote treatment? Cirie says if you feel "free" to shower naked in front of people, then go right on ahead. "I just...wouldn't do it," she adds, raising her eyebrows. I do love her facial expressions, but I'll bet you that she's been naked in front of the cameras plenty of times. After a while, the contestants lose their modesty. And that's why I've seen Scout Cloud Lee naked. Many times.

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