Like a Wide-Eyed Kid in a Candy Store

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
Erik and Ozzy, Sittin' In a Tree

It's raining and special-effect-lightning over at Airai, which means they, too, get a shower! Although it's probably not like what they wanted. Kathy tries to blame the editing for her misery, saying that when you watch Survivor at home, you only see it rain for thirty seconds. You don't see them standing in the rain for hours or trying to sleep in it. Except that I'm pretty sure you do, and even if you don't...did Kathy think that the storm clouds magically disappeared come nightfall? Did she think the show was like her golf course and when it rained everyone stops playing and goes inside to get warm and dry? She has no idea how lucky she is to at least have a dry cave to stay in! While the girls stay out of the rain, James goes out and gets them a clam to eat. Kathy complains that they had to eat it raw because they had no fire. "It's just savagery," Kathy says, as Eliza strikes a particularly Gollum-like pose. "It's like you're cavemen," Kathy says, "never in a million years would I switch to GEICO." Actually, she said "never in a million years would I do this twice." Hell, Kathy won't even do it once (SPOILER!!). Kathy says they had to seek refuge deep in the cave, where there are animals and bugs and stuff. A bat flies into Kathy's hair. You can't hear what he's saying because of the high-pitched frequency of a bat's calls but I believe it's "Quit! QUIITTT!!!! I will break you!" While the rest of her tribemates grin and bear it, Kathy again tells us this is stupidest thing she's ever done in her life. Somehow, I doubt that.

The next day, Kathy is sitting on the boat looking pretty beaten. She asks James for a hug "to get [her] through the day." James obliges her, kindly saying it's all right and she's just having a bad day. When did James get so nice? Kathy's hatred of being on this show has made her slightly kooky, as she tells us she was trying to send vibes to her washer and dryer -- um, I mean, her daughter -- but she couldn't feel her. Some new agey music plays while she says this. Hee hee. The music people were on point this week!

Eliza, Parvati, Natalie, and Alexis just stare at Kathy while she breaks down into tears on the beach. They've probably been dealing with this for weeks now, so it's not like they're heartless. They just don't have anything left for Kathy anymore. And she has nothing left, either, except turning a noun into a verb; "I'm downward spiraling," she cries; "I can't be here one more minute." Parvati tells her to be one hundred percent sure she wants to quit. Kathy says she is. And she really does seem totally done and ready to go and I'm sure it's a lot easier watching the suffering on TV than going through it yourself, but...quitters suck. I hope she regretted this decision the minute she got to the Loser Lodge and took a shower, ate something, and hugged a washing machine. Her tribemates try to comfort her and convince her to stay, but there's no way. Not even Alexis can get through to Kathy, and she's a "motivational speaker." I guess she's not a very good one.

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