Survivor
Long Hard Days

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Glark: D | Grade It Now!
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Ship Of Fools

Props to Glark's Dad for helping out at the new house, to Joanna for her fantastic job on the first ten recaps of the season, and to Sars and Kim for covering for us at Hissyfit and Fametracker.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

- Friedrich Nietzsche, who died well before Colleen was ever born and most likely was never a millionaire

Wake up, sleepy-heads; it's day thirty-one on Pulau Tiga! Colleen the groggy pixie rubs her moon-cratered feet together near the campfire and looks out across the ocean, internally debating her post-Survivor endorsement options. J.Crew? Abercrombie & Fitch? Maybe that's shooting too high. Maybe American Eagle Outfitters, if they weren't already in bed with Dawson's Creek. Hmmm, but then there's those feet -- those Omaha Beach, first twenty minutes of Saving Private Ryan feet. I smell a Vaseline spokesperson. Susan arrives on the beach in a breezy white blouse and crisp pair of khakis, promoting Gap's new catchphrase: "Are you a jean? Yes, yes you are." Fade to Rudy sitting under the tent, in the middle of one of those satisfying full-range cat-like oh-my-I-hope-my-lips-don't-split-apart yawns. He finally notices the camera shooting with a long-range lens and gives a stare that's equal parts "I'm much to tired to think" and "I'm trying to figure out if you're one of the many 'those people' I don't care for."

Richard, under the Target Tentâ„¢, proclaims, "Just woke up...I'm wet," and as the world cringes in preparation for the most uncomfortable Survivor episode yet, he lets everyone off the hook by adding, "So I guess it rained last night but I slept through it."

Cut to Kelly throwing together a big pile of wet driftwood. Maybe she's planning to smoke marshmallows by the camp smokepit tonight. Feeling formal this morning, she opts for her dress bikini. Simple. Understated. Black. The kind of bikini that says, "I'm not wearing my pink bikini right now."

"People were kind of miserable this morning," Kelly informs us. "I guess I was one of the miserable...I mean, every day is a little tough because we don't have a lot to do and we're low-energy." Cut to Sean engaging in a low-energy bout of possible nose-picking. You know the kind -- the kind where someone catches you before your whole fingernail is up there, so you mistakenly think you have a chance to do the "just scratchin'" fake-out. Maybe he needs the protein. "Rich has gotten really really weak and really crabby and really hungry, and Sean also." Really? Really! Okay then. Richard wipes his brow. Sean mumbles his way to the "kitchen," where he helps himself to a traditional breakfast of rice. It's like Rice Krispies except there's no milk, no sugar, no crispiness, and Snap, Crackle and Pop have been replaced by Stab, Cackle and Plot. But we'll get back to Susan later.

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Survivor

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