Look Closer: Survivor Africa

Episode Report Card
Joanna: F | Grade It Now!
Clips Show or Freak Show?

And onto more stuff you already knew and already didn't care about: Oldskool wanted Silas and Silas knew the damn game. Linda's still buried in the bottom of the Hoover Damn. Lindsey and Silas are still close talkers. Silas still looks like Superman. Make that Bizarro Superman. Kimj still bites it in the first reward challenge. Jessie's lips are still nasty. Later, I bet she'll still get voted off.

Seriously, they should have called this Survivor: A Look at Ridiculous People Doing Ridiculous Things. I bet more people would have tuned in. Because Peachy now tells us in a voice-over that Frank "decided to prepare [for the immunity challenges] in his own special way." Frank does runner's stretches, and I think this whole segment can't possibly be devoted to the fact that Frank doesn't want to suffer a pulled hamstring. Luckily, this is going elsewhere. Way elsewhere. In a confessional, Frank tells us that, before challenges, he "makes it a point to go over dere" -- "over dere" meaning the flagpole and "dere" meaning "there" -- with the deer antlers that are his luxury item. He says, "And I begin striking 'em together." We then see shots of Frank maniacally hitting the deer antlers against each other and against the Samburu flagpole. Huh? And what? He explains that the process is like "two mature white-tail North American bucks fighting." He keeps swatting them at each other and at the flagpole. They look like really pissed-off finger puppets. In a confessional, Lindsey tries to keep a straight face as she tells us that Frank "freaks out with them." She then scrunches up her face and swipes her hands at each other in an amusing and disbelieving imitation of Frank that brings Lindsey up a couple notches on the Scale of Hate. Plus, no tears! Brandon, Kimp, and Lindsey stand around and discuss Frank's odd habit -- Brandon calls the antlers "antennas." Kimp thinks that Frank's behavior is "quite the scene," and Brandon agrees that "it is something to see." His voice dripping with sarcasm (I'd had his voice dripping with something else here, but my husband made me take it out), Brandon tells us that Frank brought the antlers as his luxury item, "and he, like, bangs 'em together, like two sumpins [sic] fighting, you know, like this big testosterone stud." I hereby challenge any of our graphically talented MightyBigTV readers to come up with a program of Frank and Brandon and Lindsey doing their versions of the Antler Dance. Remember the Gerbil Dance page that was all over the internet during the first season and how someone turned it into the Richard Hatch Dance? Then, Brandon moisturizes. In a confessional Frank goes into his "special" place and says he wants the others to see his frantic deer antler puppetry and think, "you know, 'what is he doing?' And the hitting on the ground and their paws on the ground and their bodies hitting, you know, and smashing and I want 'em to see." And not because he wants to make the others afraid to go to sleep at night, but because he wants them to see him getting into the challenge spirit and do the same. The tribe continues to gawk at Frank.

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