Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 593 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Snugglebunnies And Girls Who Don't Eat

Koror swims to shore. Ulong struggles in futility. On the beach, Koror shuffles the mess-kit letters, and before long, it figures out that the word is, unsurprisingly..."immunity." Which Koror wins, meaning that Ulong is going to tribal council again. Stephenie slaps the water. Ulong dog-paddles around in despair. As it sort of should, because that display was sad. Koror is getting the coconut monkey. Ulong is warned that it will be heading for tribal council. Pat the monkey! Love the monkey! Because as you all know, out here on the island, the monkey represents life.

As Ulong paddles home, Ashlee insightfully interviews that when they lost the challenge, "everybody was sooooo disappointed." Thanks, Ashlee! Moreover, they realized that it had been raining, and she says that in fact, their first priority was making sure that their fire didn't burn out. When they return, they find that in fact, much of the fire has gone out, but as Ashlee explains, they were able to scoop up the hot coals that were left and rush them, ER-patient-style, to a cave. It's all Code Glow and shit. In the cave, a bunch of little campers discuss whether to sit in the cave or go back to camp, and Angie, James, and Stephenie wind up staying at the cave. They have a quiet chat in which Angie says she's told Ashlee she's up for an alliance, because she's so grateful that she wasn't booted last week. Kim's tepid performance at the immunity challenge is brought up, and James announces that, indeed, "it is time for her to go." He interviews that Kim didn't exactly rush to help the team to pull the foot locker across the bottom of the ocean, and she's fully cooked, as far as he's concerned. "Kim is gawn," he announces. "Oh, yeah, fer shurr." And then he leans back on his tree with his arms behind his head, so you know he's probably right. When has anyone on this show sat back and relaxed and not had things go according to plan, after all?

James has a chat with Jeff in which he calls Jeff on being "attracted to Kim" ("James" is Palauian, interestingly enough, for "observant"), and says that Kim is "a threat." Um. A threat? And -- you're going to love this -- James claims that Kim is a threat "psychologically and sociologically." Yes, Kim is a sociological threat. Like TiVo, or the cotton gin. Jeff stammers out that he, on the other hand, is thinking Ashlee should go. So to review, surprisingly enough, Jeff doesn't think that the girl he's been sleeping with should be booted. Go figure. Jeff insists that he can see that Ashlee is "breaking down." Despite the fact, I guess, that she helped win the balance challenge and at least tried to dive in the immunity challenge, unlike...Kim, for instance, who apparently requires no breakdown, because she simply floats around looking pretty. Jeff then interviews that James is irritating him, because he has no right to approach Jeff and say that it should be Kim rather than Ashlee. Jeff again claims that "Ashlee has kind of changed her frame of mind," and it would appear that in neither her old nor her new frame of mind has she been inclined to sleep with Jeff, so she is probably doomed for that reason if no other. "At this point, let's vote off our weakest link," he implores us, the viewers, rather uselessly. And I'm calling bullshit on anybody being the weakest link besides the person who chooses not even to try for the length of an entire challenge. You would think that even if she knew she couldn't dive very far, she would have felt obligated to make a show of it or something.

Survivor

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