Then Sophie and Albert discuss how to deal with Coach. Sophie says that she doesn't want to "throw anyone under the bus" but if it starts to seem like Coach is "king of all kings," she might try it. Note that Sophie is open to changing strategy based on how the jury seems to be headed; this is important later. Albert interviews that he's confident because he truly thinks he's played the best game of the final three, and he thinks he can express himself well and sell himself well.
Time for Coach's final tai chi session. The camera people must love that Coach does this because it gives them great footage to show while Coach is talking ridiculous nonsense about how he started as the Dragon and now he's the Phoenix and he's headed for ultimate victory. Does he hear himself? Anyway, then they set the camp on fire and it's off to face the jury.
The jury enters and Ozzy has his hair in two braids like Pippi Longstocking. He's one of those people who just looks better while on the island then off. His hair looked awesome with the island ringlets; goes to show there might be something to that trope about curly hair doing better with less shampoo. Anyway, opening statements. Albert's speech is really insincere to me, as he talks about how he enjoyed getting to know people. Sophie goes the "outwit, outplay, outlast" route: she won challenges, she made the finals, and she stuck to her original alliance. She does admit that she wasn't great at the social game, but she tried to be herself (unlike ALBERT, she doesn't say) and make friendships. She seems really nervous. Coach says that the game wasn't built for someone like him, but he tried to "play with compassion, love, appreciation and respect," and he opened himself to others. You can't really tell much from the jury members' reactions to these statements, other than Rick looks pissed, still, and Brandon looks confused, still.
Before we get to the jury questions, you should all go back and reread [url=http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/survivor/notable-jury-speeches-besides.php?page=1]Miss Alli's seminal piece about the different types of jury questions[/url]. It is a masterpiece written by someone who knows more about this game than I ever will, and when you see people reference, "My question is: you suck," it comes from this piece. Just wanted to give it a shout-out because I don't think she gets enough credit.
Ozzy will ask the first question, and he stands up in his stupid Tommy Bahama shirt and braids and hams it up for the jury: "All right, you guys ready for this?" Rick glowers at him. Rick hates everyone right now. Ozzy has clearly rehearsed his question, and I hate it when the questions are rehearsed. Ozzy says that the good news is that this game's not decided and the bad news is that no one wants to vote for any of them. The implication is that they all wanted to vote for Ozzy and if it weren't for a stupid girl, they could have. Ozzy tells Sophie that she's "a privileged, pretentious brat" but "luckily, [she] can't change." Luckily? Whuh? Then he tells Albert that he just got lucky and didn't actually do anything. Then he tells Coach that it's impressive to make it to the end as a veteran, but he claimed to play with honor and integrity. And yet, if he did play that way, it should be Ozzy versus Coach right now. Again, Ozzy thinks it's a two-person finale. I know this never would have happened, but oh how awesome it would have been to have Ozzy, Coach, and someone else in the finals and then the someone else won? Anyway, Coach says that he wanted to play with honor but he kept coming to these crossroads where he had to make choices and break his word. In the jury, Rick squeezes Brandon's shoulder. Coach adds that he thinks he played most of the time honorably, but sometimes not. The problem is that the "sometimes not" moments involved a lot of these jurors. I can't believe Coach didn't anticipate this problem. I wonder what would happen if he just flat out said, "I tried to play with honor, but I've learned that it's not possible to make it to the end of this game without breaking your word. I regret making promises that I wasn't able to keep. I'm human. I tried, and I failed. But I did try." Then again, I think most of the jurors' minds are already made up, no matter what Ozzy says.