Mad Scramble And Broken Hearts

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 1 USERS: A+
The Shuffle That Didn't

The only bright spot, of course, is the housewarming basket, which they all sit down to enjoy in an effort to improve their dark mood. Things are still very sober, however, as they sit around and eat, owing to the lack of Amber and the horrible surroundings. Funereal "oooo, oooo, oooo" choral music plays. Seriously, it sounds just like church. More specifically, the Church of the Holy Moly, This Camp Sucks The Bag. The tribe genuinely does seem equally bummed about Amber and the camp. As they eat, Rupert says, "It's a shame Amber's not here." And then, with everyone else continuing to enjoy quiet time, he fails to pick up the signal and keeps complaining about all the stuff that's at Camp Chapera that FakeChapera is now enjoying. Alicia finds a bright side: "You know what's nice about this? Let them be impressed with what we've done." I'll admit it's a small bright side, but I kinda liked that. She's got a point that if they could see how shocked FakeChapera is at the quality of the camp, they'd find it very gratifying. "Maybe that'll knock 'em down even further, 'cause they suck," she says. Heh. I liked that. You can find a classy bright side and still think people suck.

At Camp Chapera, the first order of business for FakeChapera is taking advantage of the cleanliness products. Jerri is having a nearly orgasmic experience brushing her teeth, for instance. The camera comes way to close to that, by the way. I really didn't need to see individual toothpaste bubbles. Shii Ann and Kathy, meanwhile, raid the bath supplies and head into the water with the Herbal Essence. Amber interviews that seeing other people use her tribe's stuff isn't easy, and then we return to another very unnecessary extreme close-up of Jerri's teeth being brushed. Good God. Also, Kathy is obviously using about a pound of shampoo, judging from the inches-thick lather on her head. It might not matter in other situations, but if you can "conserve" the green paint, you can "conserve" the stuff you actually need, idiot. Amber says, as we watch the cleaning continue, that all of this is just something she'll have to get used to, because this is her tribe for now.

Back at Fauxgo Mogo, Rob can't hold his inner weepy boy back anymore. "I hope she's all right, I really do," he mutters, sort of into his own shoulder. "She'll be okay," Jenna says reassuringly, patting him on the back. "It's just a couple days." "She's gotta be hurtin', though," he says. "I wish it was me, I would've been able to handle it a little better." And now, an interview: "I care about her. It kills me to have her over there by herself. I know she's tough, much of the reason why she was havin' such a good time and why I was havin' such a good time was because of each other." Back at the picnic, Rob proposes a toast to Amber. You know, normally, I'd be rolling my eyes with the rest of the bitter, jaded cynics, but I have to say, there were moments during all of this when I was thinking...does he like her? I would almost think he likes her, whatever that means to a guy like that.

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