Survivor

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Losers Find A Way To Lose

Over at Camp Jalapeño, they're still celebrating their victory. Joe interviews that they won and work well together. Thanks for contributing, Joe. Next time you go on a reality show, please have something interesting to say. Sandy brings up Douche's primal yell, and says he was pissed. Then she quotes her own "I'm PISSED!" from day one. Sandy can laugh at herself, so she is awesome. Joe interviews again that they're hoping to win the next challenge, because that will kill whatever morale Tempura has left. Exxxxcellent. And then it rains, which is no problem at Camp Jalapeño because they have that waterproof tarp.

Tempura does not have a tarp. Everyone's stuck under the shelter, and Erinn laughs that not only did Jalapeño win the blankets, but they sent her "blanket" -- Brendan -- to Exile. Douche stands in the rain and scowls, then interviews that Jalapeño probably needs the comfort items more than Tempura does, because they're "dirtier." Does he mean they have more dirt on them or that they play dirty or that they use foul language? Although no matter what Douche meant by "dirty," it still doesn't make sense. Anyway, that wasn't dramatic enough for Douche, so he adds that he doesn't need comfort or even shelter. In fact, he'd bury himself in the sand and be bitten by snakes and tarantulas. IS THIS AN OPTION? Because there's a nice Douche-sized crater on the Tempura beach already, courtesy of Sierra and Brendan, so step one has already been accomplished. Douche says all he cares about now is winning this game. You know what kind of person says he doesn't care about pillows and blankets? The kind of person who is so sad not to have any.

Somehow, the rain did not make it to Exile Dune. I prefer to think this is because God so hated the Douche, that he stuck a rain cloud directly over his camp. Taj and Brendan choose their urns, and this time, Taj gets the note. This one comes with a second clue that says the idol is "surrounded by wood." Taj runs back and shows it to Brendan. She interviews that they're working together now to get themselves an idol each. Brendan interviews that he's going to look for the idol as soon as he returns to camp. This must not have happened, though, because a quick look at Google Earth does not reveal a crater the size of Connecticut in the Toocutease region. He says he's thinking of looking near the shelter or the treemail area. That night, they talk about what to do next time someone has to go to Exile. Now that Probst called them out, they can't go back a third time. So they'll have to figure out who should be sent from the tribes next. Taj apparently has a bond with Stephen, and says she'll talk to him and make sure he's "prepped." Brendan will do the same with Sierra. Taj asks if he's sure he can trust Sierra, and Brendan says he is. I'm just not sure if Taj can trust Stephen. Taj says that if the four of them make it to the merge, they'll have a four-person alliance that no one else knows about. Which is awesome. Brendan tells Taj she's the "best accomplice ever," and Taj laughs evilly as lightning flashes. I like where this is going.

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Survivor

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