Man Down

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Quarterback, Sneak

Anyway, the "man up" talk carries us over to today's challenge. Jeff, still echewing the non-dorky baseball caps with which I personally had no quarrel for the dorky adventure hats that make him look like Crocodile Dumb-dee, brings in the teams. Yaxha learns the surely shocking news that Nakum voted Jim The One-Armed Senior Citizen off the tribe in the season's first vote. I'm sure they're all like, "Huh. Not one of the healthy young boys who gets along with everyone? This really is the most shocking season ever!" Anyway. The way this challenge works, you run up a ramp and across a net, and then you climb out onto a big spiderweb made of rope that's been set up over a pool of water. You hang from the web by your hands and feet as you shimmy out to one of eight bags hanging from the web. You untie a bag and drop it into the water below, and then you take the bag and make your way over to a rope ladder on which you climb back up onto the net and run back to your team. Everybody has to go at least once, and if you drop into the water without a bag, you have to go back to the start and somebody else goes. And this is the reward that's for fishing gear. Hooks, corks, worms, that sort of thing. Fortunately, it doesn't seem to be a spear situation, which is a good thing, because I am tired of that, and it makes me think about Rupert, and I hate thinking about Rupert. Jeff promises that there are plenty of fish in the lake. And he's not speaking metaphorically about the inevitable end of his relationship with Julie. (Rimshot!) Yaxha, up one member, elects to have Amy sit out. Very dramatic cinematography, editing, and music attempts to distract you from the fact that this is a game with all the tension, danger, and high stakes that you'd find at your company picnic at a water park.

"Ready...go!" First out are Jamie and Bobby Jon. Jamie gets under the web just like you're supposed to, hanging on with hands and feet, but Bobby Jon just hangs from it by his hands at first, which slows him down. He does tend to choose the hardest way of doing everything, that one. Jamie is first to get a bag untied, and then Bobby Jon gets his. But on the way back, Bobby Jon slows down, and by the time he gets back to Nakum, Brian is well out onto the web for Yaxha. Cindy goes out for Nakum as Margaret comforts a bent-over Bobby Jon, now back with the team. Cindy catches up with Brian in the web, though, and by the time they get back onto the net to run back, she's out ahead. They certainly do love to show T&A shots of Cindy. Her ass is in the credits, and right here, there's a shot right down her front. I have a feeling the next challenge will force her to do the splits, because where else can we go from here, you know? Anyway, next out are Blake and Stephenie, leaving just about at the same time. Whether Blake can breathe normally or not, he does fine on the course, and he and Steph get done at very much the same time. She beats him back to the start, but not by a whole lot. Gary is out next for Yaxha, and Farmer Brandon goes for Nakum. Brandon gets a bit ahead of Gary on the way back. Margaret is next for Nakum, and Rafe for Yaxha. Margaret gets her bag, but Rafe -- not looking like the most graceful gazelle ever to play the game -- is the first to drop into the water without successfully getting a bag, so he has to bail out and head back. The really weird part, however, is that Rafe then can't get himself up the ladder. It looks like total mashed-potato legs to me, like he just has nothing to push himself up with, particularly after hanging on the web. But the effect is totally Suffering Pasty Boy, and what's not to like about that?

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