Man Down

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Quarterback, Sneak

Judd and Farmer Brandon -- the latter of whom is rather lounging himself at the moment -- have a chat in which Judd bitches about "getting screwed" by having to bring water for Blake. I suppose so, in the same way that Blake "got screwed" by having to help his team win fishing gear so they could eat when Judd fell on his ass and couldn't get across the web. Brandon and Judd actually go on to bitch and moan that Blake is so lucky, and that he has all that energy for challenges because he doesn't do anything in camp. Right. That's why Judd couldn't hang from the rope. It's because he works so hard. The self-righteousness countdown clock comes in at an episode and a half, I suppose. I am now officially awaiting the arrival of the first discussion of "integrity," and will accept any version of "I don't play the game that way." Anyone want to make a bet with me? Judd tells us that he wants to be "the big hero" at the next challenge. Judd is starting to grate.

Nakum, Day 6. The team reviews some treemail, delivered in Bobby Jon's lovely drawl, indicating that there's going to be some kind of a scraping and clawing challenge later. I like scraping and clawing. Especially the figurative kind. Because a thick rope is included with the treemail, Bobby Jon quickly concludes that it's likely to be a tug of war. In an interview, Danni says that there are a lot of good athletes on Nakum, but that Yaxha has stayed with them so far. She points out that they know Steph is strong, and then she says this: "I work in sports radio back in Kansas City, and Gary used to be a professional football player, so. He was a quarterback. Quarterbacks, though, aren't usually as athletic as the rest of the football players, but." And then she laughs and points out that Gary has "been holding his own," so they'll have to see how he does. So what do you know? Gary Hogeboom is Hoge-busted.

We swoop over to a clearing, where there's a huge mud pit waiting. The teams arrive, and it's pretty clear that some edict went out about wearing hats, because they almost all have them, and they're almost all stupid. Jeff takes back the immunity idol from Lydia, and he says, "Immunity -- back up for grabs!" Of all the things Jeff says, I think that's the one I would try to make him say for me if I saw him in a bar. "Here -- here's my beer. Say, 'Miss Alli's Corona -- back up for grabs!' know, then give it back to me." Awesome. Anyway, Jeff tells them that the immunity challenge will be "a good old-fashioned tug-of-war," which means it probably won't be. And indeed, it isn't. What actually is happening is that each team is being tied in a big bunch to one end of a rope, and then they're going to pull against each other as groups. When -- oh, I mean "if" -- that fails to result in a winner, we will progress to a series of one-on-one challenges in which individuals will pull against each other. Oh, and you can either just pull on your end, or you can run over and grab people to keep the other side from pulling on their end. It probably doesn't make a lot of sense to do that, but it doesn't really need to. You have a big mud pit; you sort of have to find a way to encourage people to wrestle around in it.

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