Marquesan Vacation

Episode Report Card
Joanna: C | Grade It Now!
And That's That

Back at camp, the squealing continues. Kathy is exciting because she's "ordering [Pat] around like a mother would." Neleh tells Pat that Kathy is the tribe's mother figure, and the others all are kind enough to say how wonderful Kathy is so that they don't have to tell Pat how bad his mother sucks. Kathy wants everyone to check out Pat's muscles from weightlifting, and then reveals his bicep tattoos. It's something Irish, and Kathy says she was "ripped" when he did it, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't mean she was drunk. She then shoots off a stream of questions without taking a breath, or better yet, giving Pat a chance to respond. She says, "How's the house? Have you been partying there? Seriously, tell me the truth. Yes, you have, I can tell!" Robert thinks Pat's "wrecked the joint already," and Pat smiles while the other cheers him on. Kathy thinks it's really weird! It's weird, weird, weird! Kathy almost always talks in exclamation points! In a confessional, she tells us that Pat has had good experiences in his life, but that he "basically hangs around New England." In other words, he's small-minded. She then makes a big scene over all the chores they will make Pat do around the camp; she rubs her hands together in exaggerated excitement while the others cheer.

Now Kathy gives Pat a lesson on how to crack open a shell. He drops a big rock onto the shell from about two feet above as everyone laughs at him, and Kathy runs away from the rolling rock. Robert points out that Pat might "wanna hang onto it" as he strikes the shell. Patrick continues bumbling about trying to open the shell, while Kathy inquires about the money situation at home. Finally, Pat realizes that the stone must make contact with the shell in order to crack it open. As Kathy pulls out the shellfish innards, she says, "Can you believe it? We eat that." She then compliments Pat's expert rock-throwing skills. Now there's a kid who can do anything! Pat drinks coconut milk and cringes -- he of the unrefined, New England taste -- while Kathy cackles. Pat tells us that he's never been an outdoor person and instead has been a "crappy little kid from the East Coast" his whole life. So to sum up what we know of Patrick so far, he's a "crappy little kid from the East Coast who basically hangs around New England." Sounds like a rousing college reference, if you ask me. He says, "I like my TV and my couch," adding that being in the Marquesas is a different world. Kathy hugs Pat and says it's good to have him out there; she then jokingly asks if she can go home.

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