They're Back, and They Can't Get a Word In! Whew-Hoo!
Rosie's back, and reveals that all of the S16 have decided to play, which she says "is crazy of them." They haven't all decided to play, though, because Vecepia is standing beside Rosie looking smug. She doesn't have to eat bad food for stupid prizes now. She's a millionaire! After the players have been suitably blindfolded, Rosie reveals a gummy worm from the non-footed little urn and screams, "Look at that!" while silently encouraging the audience to groan and make distressing noises for the benefit of the S16. Vecepia unconvincingly says, "I would never eat that." Rosie instructs the players that they'll have five seconds to eat, after which they can rip off their blindfolds. They dig in and chew and some actually manage to look distressed. Others look upwards while they chew which I don't really understand because it's not like there's anything up there, and it's not particularly difficult to swallow a gummy worm. Then Rosie runs around pointing and yelling, "Did it? Did it? Did it?" as the S16 show their gummy wormy tongues. Paschal starts dancing lewdly, and Sean doesn't want to remove his blindfold, but the two are unrelated, I think. Rosie reveals that the prize is a DVD of the first four seasons of Survivor; they all attempt to act really excited -- as does Vecepia, which is obnoxious. But then Rosie reveals that she tricked them all: there's a brand-new Saturn Vue for each of them. This revelation causes mass chaos among the group. John falls on the floor before Rosie, and then starts humping her. Rosie yells, "I tricked you!" and "Saturn rules!" while dispensing keys to the frolicking S16. It's a Saturn, people, not the cure for cancer. I'm mortified for them. The Moppet jumps up and straddles John and they spin around together, while Tammy pumps her fist in the air in that familiar, unflattering way. Rosie thanks Saturn again, and the dispensing of the keys continues, and poor Peter Pandit is skulking about at the end of the show just as he was at the beginning of the show.
We're back, and the S16 are all on their feet, but managing now to contain their excitement over their new wheels. Rosie looks like she might be about to sing...or have a bowel movement. Thankfully, we're spared both. And if I'd had to decide between witnessing one of the two, it would have been a difficult choice. Crazy-eyed, skulking Peter Pandit is smiling now, so someone might have asked him about his holes. Rosie closes the show by attempting to put the game of Survivor in the context of current world politics. She thinks Survivor teaches people how to accept, get along with, and care for each other, and "it's a beautiful thing when it works right." She thinks it worked right this time. However, I think Survivor works right when the S16 are at each other's throats, and the ratings would agree with me.