Survivor
Marquesas Reunion

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They're Back, and They Can't Get a Word In! Whew-Hoo!

Rosie asks what Vecepia will take away from the experience, aside from the million dollars. Vecepia says that being the first African-American to win on Survivor is the best part. Vecepia brags that many people are proud of her right now, and that it's a great feeling. She points out that it's not just African-Americans who are proud of her, but all people of color. She cites her Indian employer, Hispanic friends, "the Thierrys" ["family friends, apparently" -- Wing Chun], and her African-American buddies. So in short, everyone except white people can feel proud of Vecepia. Vecepia says that it's an honor to have so many people praying for her. Rosie agrees that just as Tina's victory was great for women, Vecepia's victory is great for minorities.

Rosie now reveals that she's gotten permission from CBS to play a game with the S16. She has an urn (sadly absent of feet) with "some food" in it; if the contestants chow down, they'll get a prize. Rosie rules that they'll have to decide in advance if they'll partake in the challenge, and then they'll be blindfolded and given five seconds to eat. While they're deciding, it's time for Just Peachy to plug the fifth season of Survivor, but Rosie promises, "When we get back, disgusting food for them!"

Gong, pretty doors open, temples, elephants, tinkly music. Peachy blathers on about sixteen Americans, a tropical rain forest, and "mammoth limestone topography." This time, he explains, it's the monsoon season, and the new S16 will be "pummeled" by frequent storms. And pummeling is always a good thing when it comes to these people. There are also big snakes out there! Peachy promises that they'll begin the adventure in a new way: "An event that will impact the entire game ahead of them." Pretty music, pretty pictures, pretty colors, pretty doors close. Gong! Survivor Thailand. See you then.

Rosie's back, and reveals that all of the S16 have decided to play, which she says "is crazy of them." They haven't all decided to play, though, because Vecepia is standing beside Rosie looking smug. She doesn't have to eat bad food for stupid prizes now. She's a millionaire! After the players have been suitably blindfolded, Rosie reveals a gummy worm from the non-footed little urn and screams, "Look at that!" while silently encouraging the audience to groan and make distressing noises for the benefit of the S16. Vecepia unconvincingly says, "I would never eat that." Rosie instructs the players that they'll have five seconds to eat, after which they can rip off their blindfolds. They dig in and chew and some actually manage to look distressed. Others look upwards while they chew which I don't really understand because it's not like there's anything up there, and it's not particularly difficult to swallow a gummy worm. Then Rosie runs around pointing and yelling, "Did it? Did it? Did it?" as the S16 show their gummy wormy tongues. Paschal starts dancing lewdly, and Sean doesn't want to remove his blindfold, but the two are unrelated, I think. Rosie reveals that the prize is a DVD of the first four seasons of Survivor; they all attempt to act really excited -- as does Vecepia, which is obnoxious. But then Rosie reveals that she tricked them all: there's a brand-new Saturn Vue for each of them. This revelation causes mass chaos among the group. John falls on the floor before Rosie, and then starts humping her. Rosie yells, "I tricked you!" and "Saturn rules!" while dispensing keys to the frolicking S16. It's a Saturn, people, not the cure for cancer. I'm mortified for them. The Moppet jumps up and straddles John and they spin around together, while Tammy pumps her fist in the air in that familiar, unflattering way. Rosie thanks Saturn again, and the dispensing of the keys continues, and poor Peter Pandit is skulking about at the end of the show just as he was at the beginning of the show.

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Survivor

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