Marquesas Reunion

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!
They're Back, and They Can't Get a Word In! Whew-Hoo!

Just sit right back
We've got a show
These people were confined
"Outwit, outlast, outplay" the goal
They're out of their minds
They're out of their minds

There's John, who grabbed a sea urchin
He really was in need
Then Kathy came to help him
She squatted and did the deed
You know she went and pee-peed

There's Peter, he got booted first
And Sean who was a klutz
He tried to get up on a mule
He bruised his coconuts
Bruised his coconuts!

We finally know who took the prize
The ultimate success
And we're gonna talk all about it tonight
Only on CBS!
Only on CBS!

Rosie says that the fun has just begun, and I wonder how I missed that. She doesn't want us to go anywhere because she'll be here the whole hour. Which sounds like a perfect reason to me to go somewhere -- anywhere -- else. So we head off to commercial as the S16 -- including a skulking, awkward Peter Pandit -- chant and try to avoid looking completely horrified, both by the results of the game and by Rosie's singing.

Rosie welcomes us back to New York City, and the S16 wave and ham it up, clutching desperately to the last vestiges of fame and fortune they'll ever know. Until they show up in a Snickers commercial next season, doing something really gross or stupid. Ah, fame. Rosie asks Vecepia how it feels to win, and Vecepia says it's "the bomb!" in a way that cannot be conveyed in writing. She also exclaims "Heck, yeah!" and "Holy heck!" because she's trying to out-pious Neleh. And out-annoy her, as well.

Rosie asks whether Neleh and Vecepia have been nervous, anticipating this moment, and Neleh says that she hasn't eaten in two days, causing Rosie to abruptly cut her off: "Right." Because members of the Chub Club don't like to hear about the non-eating habits of skinny girls. Neleh looks pretty, if primped, and not at all like Olive Oyl or Sweetpea or Alice the Goon or some other random goon or whatever Popeye character she resembles that I can't quite place. There's a surprising dearth of Popeye information available on the web. ["I'm telling you, put a cloth crown on her and she's Jughead Jones." -- Wing Chun] In any case, Vecepia rambles on that she woke up that morning and told Leander to go away because he was driving her crazy wanting to do things with her. Those pesky spouses with the always wanting to do things. Vecepia was glad they went to breakfast, because it calmed her down, and it sounds like she had breakfast with Neleh, because they exchange a look. But that would mean Neleh did eat in the past two days. Liar. Vecepia continues complaining about her husband and says that when she got back home, "Leander was there again," wanting more from her and making her nervous. Poor Leander. I hope he doesn't hug her for at least a week. Vecepia finally had to say, "Just go somewhere! Please!" so that she would have the chance in his absence to pray, meditate (which I originally typo-ed as "medicate," and which would be an equally viable option for a woman who sees visions and writes on tablets), and calm herself down. Rosie steals the words right from my recap as she concludes, "The moral for the people at home: when times are stressed, get ridda your spouse!"

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